Us ladies often have guys as best friends. Sometimes it is a matter of lifelong friendship since kindergarten, but sometimes we have male friends later in life.
Sometimes we even share secrets with our male friends, or ask for relationship advice because we feel safe to talk about everything with them. It’s kind of helpful to see the male’s perspective.
But what happens when you notice signs he is fighting his feelings for you, yet he is your male friend?
What then? Does everything fall apart? Can you be sure that he’s really into you?
This happens to a lot of us, and trust me, it’s not that hard to notice the signs he has strong feelings for you.
Let’s go through some of the most obvious signs he is fighting his feelings for you and make things clear as day.
#1: He Gets Awkward When Near You
Let’s admit, we can all get a little weird when we’re around someone we like. If your guy is cool and amusing around other people but gets awkward when you show up, then that’s one of the clearest signs he has strong feelings for you.
Why is that?
Because when we want to impress someone, we try to behave in ways that we think would look good.
But unfortunately, this pursuit for a good image can backfire on us, and words just don’t come out right. Becoming self-conscious when around someone we like is a quite normal thing, so if you notice your pal becoming more insecure or fidgety around you, then there is no doubt he’s into you.
#2: Showing Off in Front of You
If he starts showing off for no reason when you meet, you might start wondering where the old relaxed guy disappeared to, or what happened to the humble guy you’ve known for years?
If you notice that he starts competing with other guys or repeatedly talking about his skills and achievements, then it’s obvious he wants to impress you.
Casually showing off (whilst secretly aiming his show offs at you) is also one of the crystal clear signs he likes you but is hiding it.
#3: He Sends Mixed Signals
When a guy sends you mixed signals, you probably get confused.
Well interestingly, he is the confused one here.
He still doesn’t know whether he’s ready to open up to you and show you how he feels. He is going back and forth and doesn’t know how to approach you, so he just acts weird around you.
The hot and cold attitude can be frustrating and hard to deal with. Usually it happens because a guy doesn’t want to be more vulnerable by making a move yet.
Maybe he doesn’t think or feel like you are ready for something more, or perhaps he’s unsure whether he’s worthy of you.
Regardless, his mixed signals can be a clear sign that he doesn’t know how to act around you. Sometimes he’s chasing you, and sometimes he ghosts you for days.
The only thing you can do here is to be patient and don’t latch on to his provocations. It’s easy for women to start chasing a guy when he exhibits hold and cold behaviour, because after the ‘icy cold’ signals, we get excited when he becomes hot again.
However, the important thing to remember here is: do NOT chase. Instead, you can consider initiating in high value ways.
On the other hand, if you’re not ready to initiate, that’s perfectly fine too. Just don’t push him – let him figure out what he wants and make up his mind instead of complaining about his behavior.
By the way, sometimes a guy sends mixed signals because he’s fighting his feelings for you. Here are 13 Crystal Clear Signs He’s Fighting His Feelings For You.
#4: He’s “Stalking” Your Social Media
The easiest way for him to show that he likes you is to like all your photos and stories rather than tell you to your face.
Now, obviously there are weird guys who stalk your social media, but we are not talking about those guys.
It’s also possible for guys who have no feelings for you to ‘like’ everything you post, because they’re looking to stare at your photos (or get off on them) and just get excited whenever you post new content.
But if your guy already exists for real in your life, already exhibits several of the other signs he is fighting his feelings for you and his name pops up after everything you post, then you have your guy seriously interested in you.
What’s the message behind it?
- He is shy to approach you.
- He thinks it’s still early to show you how he feels.
- It’s his way to compliment your looks without having to look you in the eyes.
#5: He Remembers Everything You Say
You’d be surprised by the amount of information this guy can retain in his brain. He remembers literally everything you say and pays attention to details.
Don’t get blown away when he shows up with organic rosemary soap at your door because you mentioned you love the scent months ago.
He is all about you, although he doesn’t even admit it to himself. He will find any way to show you his feelings except being direct. It’s how men work, and you must face it girl. In the end, our differences spice up our life.
CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!
#6: He Makes Sure You Know He’s Single
Let’s say that this guy is not your best friend, but your ex, your ex who still has feelings for you.
He always makes sure that you know that he’s single. Sometimes this is one of the signs that he is fighting his feelings for you, but he wouldn’t make the first move.
Sometimes guys just don’t want to come across as needy – but they’ll send you the message that they’re single loud and clear.
He’s letting you know through his social media relationship status or through a friend that he is single or has no interest in other women.
If you’re attuned to him and you listen to your gut, you’ll easily be able to tell whether he’s signalling his availability.
If a guy is sending you signals that he’s unattached, then there is no doubt that Romeo wants you to know that you are his Juliet.
#7: Silly Excuses Just to Chat With You
One of the brightest blinking signs he is fighting his feelings for you is when he invents whatever excuse he can just to chat with you.
Whether it’s live or online, you can expect things like:
‘Hey, I just wanted to ask you about your vet’s number!’
While you know he has no pets and doesn’t even like animals. Why do men do this?
- They want to remind you that they are around.
- They really enjoy your company and don’t mind investing time in you.
- They don’t want to show their feelings, but still want to let you know they exist.
- They are so nervous around you that they don’t know what else to say.
- They want to communicate loud and clear but don’t know how, other than to “chat”.
QUIZ TIME: Is he serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz! (You’ll find out if he is commitment friendly or not!)
#8: He Gets Jealous Without Even Noticing
When you start talking about other guys in front of him, he gets upset, insinuating that no one is good enough for you.
When he’s not telling you how he feels about you but always makes negative comments about other guys, then you can be sure he has strong feelings for you.
Men are territorial, and when they feel threatened by other guys, they start acting all “she’s with ME” about the girl they like. So if you notice your guy doing something like this, then you can consider the possibility that he wants you for himself.
So Why Are Men Territorial?
- They are afraid to lose a woman they like.
- They have a need to compete against other men.
- It’s in their nature to protect what they believe belongs to them (or was theirs first).
- It’s a shortcut to show everyone who’s in control, or who is the alpha in the pack.
#9: He’s Nice To the People You Love
If you need more signs he has strong feelings for you, check how he behaves around the people close to you. It can be your friends, family, colleagues, or anyone who is important to you.
When he starts getting close to your people, offering help, asking questions about you, trying to be the nicest guy in the world, then there is no doubt he’s preparing the terrain to approach you.
Sometimes it’s easier to get to you through people around you than approaching directly, and we ladies do it too.
If he’s doing this, it doesn’t mean he lacks courage. He simply wants to wait for the right time or that he wants to have more allies before reaching his final goal – YOU.
#10: He Blows Hot and Cold
No woman on Earth likes this game. His hot and cold behavior can create an immediate frustration and a feeling of hopelessness.
The thing is that we always blame ourselves when a guy decides to play it cool, even though the problem is solely on him.
First of all, there is a chance that he felt embarrassed or self conscious the last time he was too nice to you, and got worried that you noticed that he likes you.
Secondly, perhaps he got scared by his own over-caring actions towards you and now he feels safer withdrawing (and needs time to figure out his next move).
Whatever the case may be, don’t panic and wait to see what he does next. if you like him back, encourage him that it’s ok to show his feelings.
Alternatively, you can consider these ways to tell him you like him.
#11: Your Mutual Friends Start Teasing You
When you hear cheesy comments from your mutual friends about you two, but he’s still sitting on the fence, then that’s one of the obvious signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
He doesn’t approach himself, but he shares little insights on his feelings about you with the crew, so they start chirping around you until you get the message: He likes you!
On some occasions, he even sends his people to you to make sure you understand his feelings. I know, this is totally an elementary school script, but most men never grow up.
There is definitely something charming about it, and if you think it’s cute that he sends his messengers to bring you a love letter, then maybe you should send a smoke signal back to him.
Dating is a type of game, like it or not. In fact, the anthropologist Helen Fisher says “love is nature’s only game”. (See “Why We Love” by Helen Fisher).
So, if you want to enjoy the game to the maximum, you must become a good player and have fun while it lasts.
#12: He Somehow Hangs Out at Your Spots
Well, you may say this is a coincidence, but come on: he was there when you had a girls’ night out, he was there when you celebrated your birthday, he was there when you adopted your newest cat, he was there when you needed a truck to move out…
No, this is not creepy unless you feel like it’s creepy. It simply means that he is so into you that he wants to be a part of your life, and be there for you in case you need him.
A guy who is always present in places he knows he might find you is someone who is trying to make an impression and show that he cares.
He wants to be around you as much as he can, so don’t be surprised when he shows up where you least expect him.
#13: He Always Explains Himself to You
He doesn’t owe you any explanations. Especially if you don’t ask first.
So how might he explain himself to you? Well, for example, you meet with the entire group of friends and he is late, but when he finally shows up he starts explaining his tardiness away.
Maybe you didn’t even notice he was not there on time, but he cares a lot about being late for you. Yep, that’s one of the sure signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
He wants to impress you, so being late means disappointment, no matter if you notice or not. If he has the need to explain each and every step of the way, then it means he wants you to know everything about him. He wants to show you that he has no secrets.
Men Are Never Perfect…
Real-life men are rarely the romantic saviors like in the movies, but neither are we magazine cover models.
Understanding men and cracking their secret language of flirting is a work of art and it requires a lot of attention and patience.
When he has feelings for you but is indecisive, you need to be understanding and avoid chasing him.
Instead, give him a little more space to figure out when he’s ready to make a move (or if you even are really the girl he wants).
If by reading this article you realize that he has strong feelings for you, then you can maybe consider opening yourself up too letting him know how you feel in a high value way.
Responding to his love howls may result into a healthy, fruitful, and happy relationship.
Stef Z is an Ecuador based writer dedicated to community work, writing, and theater. She’s dedicating most of her time helping women go through difficult breakups, domestic violence, as well learn the secret language of men.