Mixed signals from a guy can be confusing, frustrating, and even hurtful.
You may feel like you’re getting mixed messages and not sure what to believe or how to react.
It’s not uncommon for men to send mixed signals, and it can happen in any type of relationship – but that doesn’t make it right.
It can be hard to know if a man is truly interested in you or if he’s just playing games. You may find yourself questioning his intentions and wondering if he’s worth your time and energy.
And that’s what we’re here for. In this article, we’ll explore some common mixed signals, how to decode them, and what you need to know to navigate these confusing situations.
With a better understanding of this confusing behavior from a guy, you can keep your power and high value as a woman!
Also, if you want to know exactly how serious he is about you, you can take our quiz to find out how serious he is about your relationship:
Key Takeaways
- Mixed signals from a guy are contradicting messages and they can be witnessed in any type of relationship.
- Understanding common mixed signals and how to decode them can help you feel more certain of what steps to take next.
- Don’t let mixed signals leave you feeling uncertain and hurt. Learn to recognize them and take action accordingly.
Mixed Signals Examples
Here are some examples of mixed signals that you may experience when dating a guy:
- He tells you he likes you, but he never makes plans to see you.
- He flirts with you one day, then ignores you the next.
- He talks about a future with you, but then disappears
- He tells you he doesn’t want anyone else, but keeps dating apps on his phone.
- He introduces you to friends and family, but won’t be exclusive with you.
- He’s hot and cold, giving you mixed messages about his feelings
1. He tells you he likes you, but he never makes plans to see you.
You know the drill, ladies. He showers you with compliments, confesses that he genuinely likes you, and yet, when it comes to taking the initiative to see you, he falls short.
MORE: Why Do Guys Stop Putting In Effort? 15 Reasons.
It’s like he’s all talk and no action, leaving you hanging in a state of perpetual uncertainty.
Sure, his words may sound sweet, but actions speak louder, right?
It’s frustrating to hear how he feels about you, only to be left wondering when he’ll actually make an effort to spend quality time together.
Mixed signals like these can leave you questioning his intentions and sincerity. Is he truly interested in you or just playing with your emotions?
It’s time to take a step back and evaluate whether his lack of action aligns with what you truly deserve.
Recommended: Why Do Guys Adjust Themselves In Front Of You? 10 Secret Reasons.
2. He flirts with you one day, then ignores you the next.
Ah, the classic rollercoaster ride of emotions. One day, he’s all charm and flirtation, making you feel like the center of his universe.
You find yourself blushing and giggling, caught up in the whirlwind of his attention.
But just as you start to enjoy the thrill, he disappears into thin air, leaving you feeling confused and wondering what you did wrong.
It’s as if he’s playing a game of hide-and-seek with your heart.
Mixed signals like these can mess with your head and leave you second-guessing every interaction.
Is he genuinely interested, or is he just toying with your emotions for his own amusement?
It’s time to prioritize your emotional well-being and do one or all of the following:
- Hold him accountable
- Seek a connection that offers more stability and consistency; or
- Say one specific thing to him to show your high value and let him know that he can no longer get away with treating you this way (CLICK to Learn the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!)
Recommended reading: Does Ignoring A Guy Work? 5 Reasons It Does, 5 Reasons It Doesn’t.
3. He talks about a future with you, then disappears
Picture this: you find yourself engrossed in deep conversations about the future, sharing dreams and aspirations with this guy.
He paints a vivid picture of a life together, making you believe that you’re an integral part of his plans.
But then, out of the blue, he vanishes into thin air, leaving you bewildered and questioning everything.
Days turn into weeks, and you’re left wondering if you somehow misinterpreted his words or if his intentions were never genuine to begin with.
It’s a painful cycle of hope and disappointment, leaving you emotionally drained.
Remember, a true connection requires more than just grand promises; it demands consistent effort, presence and more than anything – emotional commitment!
Recommended reading: How To Get Him To Commit: 12 Genius Steps & 2 Mistakes.
4. He tells you he doesn’t want anyone else, but keeps dating apps on his phone.
Okay, let’s decode this mixed signal. He explicitly declares that he’s not interested in pursuing other romantic options and that you hold a special place in his heart.
However, you stumble upon his phone and find those sneaky dating apps hiding in plain sight.
Your heart sinks, and confusion sets in. If he’s committed to you, why does he feel the need to keep his options open?
It’s a contradiction that leaves you feeling hurt and questioning his loyalty.
It’s time to remind yourself of your worth and value; don’t settle for half-hearted commitment; you deserve someone who chooses you fully.
5. He introduces you to friends and family, but won’t be exclusive
Imagine the scenario: he proudly introduces you to his closest friends and even brings you into the inner circle of his family.
You feel special, validated, and hopeful that this is a sign of a deepening connection.
But when it comes to taking the relationship to the next level and committing to exclusivity, he hesitates and keeps you in a state of limbo.
It’s a rollercoaster ride that tests your patience and leaves you feeling uncertain about where you stand.
One minute, he’s showering you with affection, making you believe that there’s something special between you.
But the next moment, he pulls away, leaving you in a state of confusion and doubt.
MORE: 9 Genius Ways to Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away.
It’s as if he’s unable to make up his mind about his feelings for you, keeping you trapped in a perpetual state of limbo.
This back-and-forth dynamic can be emotionally exhausting and leave you questioning your own worth.
Remember, you deserve consistency and stability in a relationship, where someone’s actions align with their words.
It’s essential to prioritize your own happiness and consider whether this constant uncertainty is something you’re willing to endure.
6. He’s hot and cold, giving you mixed messages about his feelings
This is the classic mixed signal, and the trouble is that it can be addictive if you allow yourself to get attached to the guy.
Hot and cold behavior can be manipulative, and if you’re none the wiser, you might assume you’re the one who has done something wrong.
Unless you’ve caused your guy a lot of trauma, you’ve definitely done nothing wrong.
He’s just like this.
So ask yourself:
Have you ever felt a steady, reliable emotional connection with this guy?
Or does your connection seem to be more herky jerky and unreliable?
If so, he’s sending mixed signals and if you stay long enough, it will damage your mental health and self esteem.
Navigating through each mixed signal can feel like you’re wandering in a labyrinth of emotions, never quite sure which path to take.
It’s essential to remember that you’re not to blame for receiving these confusing messages.
Each example showcases the complexities and challenges of modern dating, where genuine intentions can often get lost in translation.
While mixed signals can sometimes be a result of miscommunication, they can also be a sign that someone is not fully ready to commit or invest in a meaningful connection.
It’s crucial to trust your instincts, value your own worth, and seek a relationship where both words and actions align harmoniously.
You deserve clarity, consistency, and a partner who cherishes and respects you wholeheartedly.
Decoding Mixed Signals From A Guy
In order to help you deal with his mixed signals, we’ll now go through some common scenarios in which men exhibit this behavior, and by reading about these scenarios, you will be able to decode their behavior and be more aware.
Texts and Social Media
One of the three most common ways guys give mixed signals is through texts and social media.
He might send you flirty messages one day and then ignore you the next. He might like all your social media posts but never ask you out.
If you’re getting mixed signals through texts and social media, it’s important to avoid getting sucked into his unpredictable behavior.
Non-Verbal Signs of Mixed Signals
Guys can also give mixed signals through their non-verbal behavior.
He might stare at you for a long time but never approach you. He might touch you flirtatiously but then act like it never happened.
These mixed signals can be hard to decipher, but paying attention to his body language can give you clues about how he really feels.
Friendship vs. Romantic Interest
Sometimes guys give mixed signals because they’re not sure if they’re interested in you romantically or just as a friend.
So he might treat you like a friend one day, and then touch you affectionately and lovingly the next.
Why Do Guys Send Mixed Signals?
So truthfully, why do guys send mixed signals?
Lack of communication skills
One reason is that men may not be as skilled at communicating their feelings as women are.
They may have trouble expressing themselves and may give off mixed signals as a result. This lack of communication can lead to confusion and frustration for both parties.
He’s Insecurely Attached
You can call this a more positive reason for why do guys send mixed signals, but by positive I mean they’re less likely to be intentionally trying to mess you around.
If a guy is insecurely attached it means he’s not comfortable with intimacy and being vulnerable.
So you’ll feel him inching closer to you, by not letting you too close.
Or you’ll feel him coming closer, and then abruptly pulling away from you.
Alternatively, it could also be that you have an insecure attachment style as well, which complicates your communication with a guy even more, as he might be reacting strongly to your anxiety or avoidant behavior.
If you’re unsure about what your own attachment style is, you can find out with our free quiz!
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
They’re Unsure About Their Feelings
Another reason why guys send mixed signals is that they may be unsure about their own feelings.
They may be interested in a woman one minute, but then become unsure about their attraction or commitment to her the next.
This uncertainty can cause them to send mixed signals, as they are unsure of what they want.
Fear of Commitment
Fear of commitment is another factor that can contribute to mixed signals.
Some men may be afraid of getting too close to a woman and may send mixed signals as a way to keep her at arm’s length.
They may enjoy the chase and the attention, but when it comes to taking things to the next level, they may back off.
Miscommunication
Miscommunication is also a common reason why guys send mixed signals.
They may think they are being clear about their intentions, but their actions or words may be interpreted differently by the woman. This can lead to confusion and conflict, as both parties are unsure of where they stand.
The Man Is Using The Woman
In some cases, guys may be using a woman for their own benefit, whether it’s for sex, attention, or as a rebound after a breakup.
They may not be interested in a serious relationship but may still send mixed signals to keep the woman around.
This behavior is not healthy or respectful and can lead to heartbreak for you, the woman.
The Influence of Dating Apps
One factor that could be contributing to guys sending mixed signals is the rise of dating apps.
With so many options at their fingertips, some men may be hesitant to commit to one person or may be keeping their options open.
This can lead to mixed signals as they try to balance multiple potential partners.
Recommended: The No.1 Trait Of Dating Profiles That Men Fall In Love With.
Additionally, the casual nature of dating apps can make it easier for some men to send confusing signals.
They may be more focused on the chase or the fun of dating rather than building a meaningful emotional connection. This can lead to a lack of clarity in their intentions and behavior.
While dating apps can be a convenient way to meet new people, it’s important to realize that in order not to be traumatized by using these apps as a woman, you need to have a very specific approach to them.
And that specific approach that will save you a lot of wasted time on duds is the skill of high value banter.
CLICK here to discover how online dating has completely changed and why you as a woman need to use “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men online and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”! (…Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you’ve encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
What To Do If A Guy Is Giving You Mixed Signals?
There are several things you can do.
#1: Use High Value Banter On Him
Because banter will bring spontaneity to the table and that will bring more truth to the surface in your interactions with him.
If a guy hasn’t got good intentions with you and is a player or user, then the banter will reveal his true colors quickly.
It does this by putting him on his backfoot, and throwing him off his “game”. To get some free examples of high value banter, take the free class by the banter master D.Shen here.
#2: Simply Stop Responding To Him
Why stop responding?
Can’t you just have an open and honest conversation with him?
Yes in theory you can, but unless you’re bantering with him, expect him not to reveal the truth to you.
If a guy is already content with sending you mixed signals, chances are that talking to him won’t change much.
Unless perhaps you imply (or threaten) to take sex off the table.
There are exceptions of course, like when a guy is actually just insecure or is insecurely attached – these guys don’t always have to have bad intent, they are just really not very good at dating or anything social, due to the way their nervous system is wired.
So by no longer responding to him, you show him that you’re not going to be at the mercy of that type of behavior.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you respond to mixed signals from guys?
The best way to respond is to:
- Use high value banter to test him and see if he’s willing to emotionally connect with you in this way; or
- Show you won’t tolerate that type of treatment by having the ability to not respond to him – yes, it’s also ok to say nothing at all to him, or to leave his texts on “read”
Can mixed signals from a guy be a good thing?
Mixed signals are generally not a good thing. They can be confusing and painful, leaving you unsure about where you stand in the relationship.
What should I say to a guy who is giving mixed signals?
When dealing with a guy giving mixed signals, it’s important to show your lack of willingness to entertain the flaky, confusing behavior.
The way you do this is by not responding to him at all, or using high value banter to reveal to both him and yourself, his lack of desire to truly connect and attune to you.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.