10 Reasons Why Men Pull Away & What To Do? (A Definitive Guide)

What makes a man pull away and what makes him commit?

And why do men pull away?

It’s a question as old as time, but it’s not as complicated to answer as some might think. The more you understand about why men pull away, the easier it becomes to act in all the right ways when a man pulls away.

Here’s a definitive guide on why men pull away and what makes him want to stick around or hit the road. 

QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!

Why men pull away

Why Men Pull Away? 10 Reasons.

#1: He Needs Space

It might be a cliche that sometimes guys just need space, but it’s absolutely true. 

If a relationship is going at breakneck speed and he suddenly slams on the breaks, it doesn’t always mean that he’s leaving for good. 

Sometimes it’s his way of carving out more time and space alone to reflect, work or recenter himself. 

As The Feminine Woman founder Renee Shen says:

“Pulling away is a part of the masculine instinct.”

The masculine need for space is very much a real thing, and the more you give him the space he needs, the better his response will be when he comes back. 

After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

#2: He’s Addicted To The Thrill Of The Chase

Let’s be honest here: some men are addicted to the thrill of the chase. Once they get what they’re after, they lose interest. 

It’s well known that some men do this by chasing a woman for sex, and then rolling over or ghosting a woman. 

To learn the top reasons why men ghost, read this article from Alice Wang.

What’s less well known than ghosting after sex is when a man does this emotionally as well:

He pursues and woos a woman up to the point of her falling in love, then once he has her heart in the palm of his hand he switches off and moves on to the next target. 

Needless to say, this kind of man has some deep emotional issues to deal with and is not usually worth wasting your time on. 

MORE: Walking Away When He Won’t Commit: 6 Guilt-Free Reasons To Say Goodbye.

This kind of guy is all about novelty seeking rather than about fostering a genuine connection with you. 

You want to be careful not to fall into the trap of these men, because they can be charming and their ‘game’ is so well practised that it’s hard for women (especially if you’re a woman who is feeling a little desperate) to see through it.

#3: He’s Commitment-Phobic

Commitment is a tough subject to bring up, but sooner or later it comes up in every relationship. 

If a guy is still on the fence about how he feels about you, commitment can scare his socks off. 

Sometimes, even when he’s sure that he loves you and is deeply attracted, the idea of something long-term or defined absolutely terrifies him. 

MORE: 10 Appalling Signs Of A Commitment Phobic Man.

He tucks his tail in and runs the other way, seeking an inner sense of being free from the expectations that he feels you’ve put on him. 

No, it’s not always anything that you’ve done, you can’t always be the one to blame!

But sometimes the fear of commitment just naturally rises up in him like a dark cloud that pours down rain. 

For a lot of men, they feel that as a single man, they can accomplish a lot more than they could if they were tied down by the expectations and manipulations of a woman.

This is not to say that men won’t commit – not at all. Commitment becomes something that men love to do when they are with the right woman, their ‘one and only’.

Want to know how to show up as the one and only? It’s as simple as keeping yourself out of the ‘one of many’ category with every man you meet.

CLICK Here to find out more about our program, Becoming His One And Only.

(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)

#4: He’s Scared Of Getting Burned Again

This is one of the less obvious reasons why men pull away.

All of us have had our share of hurtful experiences in love. And we all react to the hurt in our own unique ways. 

But one of the top reactions that a man can have to getting shafted or heartbroken in the past, is to pull away when things start getting more serious…

In the past, he gave his heart away to a woman, only to have her cheat on him…

Or perhaps he had the woman he loved change her feelings toward him…

And he’s terrified to death of that happening again. 

Related: 10 Agonizing Signs Show How Guys Act When They Are Hurt Emotionally.

So when you start to get too close, he begins to distance himself. 

A note of caution: if you push too hard in this situation it will drive him away for good. 

The best thing to do is to not react in fear – this will make you trigger his past traumas even more.

Instead, try to be patient and let him know that you’re willing to be patient, but don’t pretend that you don’t feel sad when he’s absent.

CLICK here to learn the secret to showing up & staying as a high value woman when your man pulls away, so that he can come back to you with more interest, more desire & more appreciation for you.

#5: He Feels Like He’s Losing Who He Is

At some point in a relationship, almost every masculine man will pull away at least for a short time. 

That’s because for a man with a strong ego and sense of self, a close romantic relationship can feel difficult. 

He often begins to feel that he’s losing his identity and his masculine core if he’s spending much of his time with you and getting deeply involved. 

This can create something of a panic response and lead him to needing some time alone, some time not talking and some time to do “guy things” with his male friends or alone. 

It doesn’t mean he’s not in love you, it just means he needs to get back in touch with who he is before he can feel strong in loving you again. 

To be clear: most men don’t do this intentionally to upset you. They do it to meet a need within themselves. Try to remember that!

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#6: Your Behavior Is Making Him Uncomfortable

Some women come on too strong, let’s be honest. 

One of the reasons that some guys pull away and panic is when a woman is too intense and committed right from the start. 

If you’re already picking out wallpaper for the kids’ rooms before they even know how they feel, this is likely to spook your handsome gentleman. 

Even if the potential for love is there, if you’re making up your mind and heart about your entire future together right at the start, it can make him feel shocked, intimidated and constrained. 

He wants some of the freedom and spontaneity to continue, so that he can have the joy of becoming deeply connected to you and emotionally attracted to you over time. 

And he likes knowing that fully winning your heart is a lifelong process, not a quick stop-and-shop process.

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.

#7: He’s Just Not That Into You

This is the option that many women never want to consider, but it’s unfortunately something you have to think about if you want to face reality. 

(And sometimes it’s important to face reality, even though it’s painful).

There’s no shame in acknowledging that a guy is just not that into you – it happens to literally everybody. Some people just don’t mesh with your vibe, and that’s a fact of life.

So yes: one of the reasons why men pull away is that they were never that into you to start with. 

Your looks, your personality, your whole interaction just didn’t “do it” for him right from the beginning. 

Did they lead you on or play it up? 

It’s quite possible, and I sympathize with you on that. 

But some men play a lot of games to satisfy the purple-helmeted soldier stationed in their crotch foxhole. 

This is why you have to be really sure that he’s not putting on an act. Guys can be very good at this, but you have to be smart and you have to test them early on.

If you don’t test a guy, then you’re really just ‘hoping’ that he’s into you.

#8: He’s Got Big Drama Going On In His Life

It’s painful and confusing to accept, but sometimes a man pulls away from you because he’s got major stresses and drama going on in his life. 

And at least you know it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you.

I’m talking about things like:

  • Mental or physical illness
  • Serious problems with family or friends
  • A career crisis that’s got him beside himself
  • Extreme confusion about the future, his own identity, or his past experiences

The natural instinct here is to be upset that he doesn’t come to you when he’s having a hard time. 

But that’s the thing…

Many men feel overly “exposed” and vulnerable when they open up to a woman – yes, sometimes even when it’s with a woman they love. 

Due to both social and personal factors, he may feel that admitting that he’s going through a hard time makes him “weak” or less attractive in your eyes…

Call it the male ego or self preservation, it’s how it is.

What can you do to bring him closer in this situation? You can give him the space he needs. 

Yes, really.

If you give him the space he needs without pulling away love, he will begin to trust you more and know that you’re there for him.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

#9: He’s Met Someone Else He’s More Into

Continuing on with some of the less appealing reasons why men pull away, is the unfortunate situation where a guy has met someone else. 

It’s the last thing a high value woman wants to think about and it can lead to feelings of unworthiness:

You may be having anxiety and wondering:

Why did he choose someone else over me? 

What did I do wrong, or what could I have done better? 

But this self-blame game never really goes anywhere great…

Because the truth is that his attraction to someone else or his decision to leave you because he found someone else isn’t any fault of your own. 

Remember that plenty of guys make the mistake of leaving one woman over another due to simple ignorance: ie: they pick the woman who seems exciting now (in the short term), but who will betray them or treat them badly later on.

It’s just his choice and his experiences. So don’t beat yourself up over this…

#10: He Used You For Sex Or Emotional Comfort

This last reason why men pull away is going to hurt, but it needs to be said. 

Sometimes a man pulls away because he was fully using you the whole time for sex or emotional comfort. 

In some ways, the feeling of being emotionally used is actually worse than the feeling of being sexually used…

In the latter option, he’s playing with your body…

In the former option, he’s playing with your most precious resource: your heart and emotions. 

It hurts to know that a man might have just been with you temporarily because he was feeling especially horny or lonely. 

But if this is the case, it’s not a bad idea to look the situation squarely in the face and accept it in all its ugly reality. 

Aside from that, if you think this final reason may be what you’re going through no, it’s important to remember to let the pain of this situation calibrate your actions better in the future.

Ask yourself questions like:

Did I give him the impression that I was ok with just something casual?

Did I compromise my heart’s desires for some easy company?

Did I get too attached to the surface attention he gave me, even though deep down I suspected that it wasn’t true?

Was I showing up as the one and only? Or did I lead with my sex appeal and willingly allow myself to fall into the ‘one of many women’ category.

Because let me tell you, many women let themselves fall into that category and it’s not a good outcome for them.

You should always ensure that you’re in the one and only category before you let a guy into your heart, body and mind.

CLICK here to learn about the 5 secrets to have any man fall in love with you and BEG you to be his one and only.

(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)

How Can You Make Him Stay?

We’ve already answered the question of why men pull away. But what if you really love him and the reason he’s pulling away falls into one of the more painful categories (where he’s likely to not come back?)

If you’re interested in a man who’s pulling away, there’s probably one big question on your mind:

How can you make him stay? 

The tough but truthful answer this question is that the chance to make him stay has likely been and gone back when he first met you.

If you show up as the one of many woman, it’s very hard to fall back into the one and only woman basket.

Once you’ve given the guy the impression that you’re in the category of short term fun, that’s basically it.

Not only that, but it’s important to remember that none of us can truly control the behavior of another person, we can only influence it.

So what you can do is become the one and only woman from now on.

Be that kind of woman who knows her boundaries and expectations in a way that causes guys to rise to your level. 

Defining your place as a high value woman in the dating game is a huge step forward that stakes your place in the romantic world, and ensures that you love life won’t fall into the pits.

It’s a refusal to let him walk all over your boundaries that the guys you meet will notice. 

If you refuse to cater yourself to the temporary feelings and demands of guys, they will notice and respect that, and they’ll realise that they will have a harder time placing you in the ‘one of many’ category.

And that chance of commitment becomes much higher. 

Remember this: 

Commitment is not the opposite of freedom as some may think: it’s actually a way to be free in a radical and empowering way, together. 

If your current guy doesn’t realize or want that, rest assured that you will soon meet one who does!

“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.” 

– American author Madeleine L’Engle.

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