I know just how tricky it can be to decipher if someone is genuinely into you, or if they’re just being extra friendly.
Men are notorious for playing it cool, which can leave you feeling confused about whether their feelings are genuine or they’re just being polite. But fear not, because I’ve got your back.
In this article, we’ll delve into 15 clues that reveal if your crush is actually into you, but trying to keep it under wraps.
These signs can range from subtle to obvious, but being aware of them will give you a better understanding of their intentions. By knowing what to look for, you can make more informed decisions about your relationship and avoid unnecessary heartache.
- A guy who likes you but is playing it cool will not come on very strong, rather he’ll give subtle signs of interest
- He’ll try to always make sure your comfortable and protected
- For obvious signs he likes you but is playing it cool, look at his body language
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Signs He Likes You but Is Playing It Cool: 16 Clues
#1: He Asks You A Lot Of Questions About Yourself And Remembers The Details
When a guy is into you but wants to keep it low-key, he’ll likely try to learn more about you by asking lots of questions. These questions will be focused on your interests, opinions, and experiences.
The key part here is that he’ll remember the details you share with him, signaling his genuine interest in your life.
This level of attentiveness shows that he’s really listening to you and cares about what you’re saying.
Most guys don’t really care that much about the details of what you’re saying, much less remember the details, unless they are somehow invested in you due to kinship or friendship.
So if he listens and he remembers small details, that’s a good sign that a guy likes you.
#2: He Makes An Effort To See You, But Doesn’t Seem Too Eager
A subtle sign he’s into you but is playing it cool is the way he arranges to see you. He’ll try to make plans with you, but without coming across as overly eager.
He might suggest casual hangouts or attending group events together, creating a more relaxed atmosphere for the two of you to spend time together.
This is actually quite sweet as he is not only playing it cool, he wants to make sure that nothing is too rushed and that you feel comfortable.
#3: He Teases You In A Playful Way
Teasing is a classic way for people to show their interest in someone without being too direct.
If he’s playing it cool, he’ll likely engage in some light teasing to make you laugh and show his fun side. This is a great indicator that he’s trying to build a connection with you while not giving away all his cards.
Teasing is also a lowkey way to test you and your feelings towards him, which is important to be aware of.
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#4: It’s In His Body Language
Body language is a strong indicator of attraction. If he’s playing it cool, his subtle body language cues might include:
- Standing or sitting closer to you
- Sharing in your laughter
- Angling his body towards yours, even if you’re far away from him
- Maintaining eye contact, or
- Even unconsciously mimicking your movements (mirroring)
- His pupils will dilate (the bigger the pupil size, the greater his interest)
While it’s important not to rely solely on body language as a definitive sign of his interest, it can provide valuable insight into his true feelings for you.
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#5: He Responds Quickly To Your Texts Or Messages, But Doesn’t Initiate Them Often
One of the clear signs he likes you but is playing it cool is that you might notice he’s quite prompt in responding to your texts or messages.
This shows that he’s keen to communicate with you, but doesn’t want to appear overly eager by initiating conversations too frequently.
It’s a subtle way of maintaining contact without becoming too forward.
But in all honesty, when a guy likes a girl a lot, he’ll be hoping that she messages him and will find it hard to resist texting her back quickly due to excitement and a sense of hopefulness.
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#6: He Compliments You In Subtle Ways
…Such as saying: “you look nice” instead of “you look beautiful”.
Another clue that he likes you but is playing it cool is the way he compliments you.
Instead of showering you with overly romantic or affectionate praises, he’ll opt for more subtle compliments that show appreciation without appearing too intense.
A lot of guys have a fear of coming on far too strong and looking like a creep, so if your guy is subtly complimenting you with a soft look in his eyes (almost of love or admiration), that’s a clear sign that he’s digging on you.
#7: He Initiates Physical Contact In A Subtle Way
…Such as touching your arm or brushing against you.
Physical touch can be an important signal when it comes to someone’s attraction to you.
If he’s playing it cool, he’ll likely initiate subtle physical contact, like touching your arm during conversation or gently brushing against you.
These small actions can hint at a deeper connection without being overly forward.
#8: He Invites You To Group Events Or Outings With His Friends
Another of the signs he likes you but is playing it cool is that he will invite you to a lot of outings.
Including you in social outings with his friends is a way to show you’re important to him while still maintaining a casual public appearance.
It’s also a way for a shy guy to try to keep nerves at bay as much as possible whilst he makes an attempt to get closer to you.
By inviting you to these group events, he’s signaling that he wants to integrate you into his life but doesn’t want to make a big romantic gesture just yet.
#9: He Keeps The Conversation Light
When a guy is playing it cool, he may steer conversations towards light and fun topics, avoiding anything too deep or emotional.
This approach allows him to build some level of rapport and connection with you while not revealing too much about his feelings.
Of course, if a guy is only capable of superficial chat, that could be a sign that he’s:
- Emotionally unavailable
- Emotionally stunted
- Nervous; or
- Has an avoidant attachment style.
If he has an avoidant attachment style, he might not be comfortable with intimacy. Thus he won’t like to reveal too many intimate details about himself nor will he feel comfortable opening up to you, at least in the early stages.
An avoidant man will generally start opening up to a woman they genuinely like with time.
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#10: He Seems Nervous Or Fidgety Around You
If he’s truly into you but trying to hide it, you might observe some signs of nervousness – like fidgeting, stammering, or blushing in your presence.
These involuntary behaviors can hint at his underlying attraction and desire to impress you.
An example would be if you compliment him or touch him lovingly, he’ll start blushing and perhaps look away (or down). How cute!
#11: He Makes Excuses To Touch You
A guy in this situation might come up with creative ways to touch you without making it too obvious.
For example, he might offer to help you with your coat and lightly graze your arm, or find a way to touch your hand when passing something to you.
These subtle gestures allow him to connect with you on a physical level without being too direct or ‘creepy’.
#12: He Laughs At Your Jokes, Even If They’re Not That Funny
Laughter is a powerful tool in forging connections. If he likes you but wants to keep it under wraps, he might laugh at your jokes more than he would with others, even if they’re not the funniest.
This shows that he’s trying to build rapport with you and enjoys your company.
It’s also a sure sign that he wants to connect with you. When we really want to connect with someone, we’ll learn to take joy in the things they enjoy.
#13: He Shares Personal Details About Himself
Opening up and sharing personal details can be a sign that someone is interested in connecting on a deeper level.
If he talks about his life, family, or past relationships with you, it could be a sign that he’s trying to:
- Make you trust him
- Be vulnerable to you
- And develop an emotional bond while still playing it cool
#14: He Gives You His Undivided Attention When You’re Together
When a man is into you but playing it cool, he’ll likely give you his undivided attention when you’re together.
This means no phone checking, scanning the room, or half-hearted conversations. He’ll be making eye contact with you and have his full attention on you.
His focused attention signals that he’s genuinely interested in you and values his time with you.
#15: He Seems To Be Everywhere You Are, But Doesn’t Make A Move
If you notice he’s often in the same places as you but isn’t making any overt moves, it’s another telltale sign of his attraction.
He might be trying to bump into you casually or simply observing you from afar, gauging your reactions and interest in him while maintaining his cool exterior.
#16: He Is Protective Of You
If he’s interested in you but keeping it discrete, he might exhibit protective behaviors.
This can include walking you to your car, making sure you’re comfortable in social settings, or even stepping in when someone is bothering you.
His desire to keep you safe and comfortable is a clear sign of his deeper feelings for you.
Of course, if he’s been a guy friend of yours for a while or you guys are part of a bigger social group, he might do this just to be the good guy – just to show that he cares for his friends.
The key here is to notice whether he does it for the other women in your social group.
If there’s no difference between how he treats other women and how he treats you, you can deduce that he’s just being friendly and gentlemanly with you.
If however he seems to zero in on you and protect you, that’s an obvious sign he values you a lot and he’s crushing on you.
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#17: He Cares About How He Looks Around You
When a guy is into you, he might be more conscious about his appearance when he’s in your presence.
He wants to make a good impression, so you might notice him fidgeting with his clothing or fixing his hair more often than usual.
You may also notice him becoming more fashion conscious – especially if you’re the fashion conscious type of girl.
#18: He Follows You Closely On Social Media
One of the more subtle ways a guy shows interest is by following your social media accounts closely.
He wants to learn more about you and stay connected to you, even if it’s just in the virtual world.
As for whether he’s just playing it cool, it could go both ways – he could either like everything you post, or keep it more discrete and only like your stories (because it’s private that way, and he doesn’t have others watching him).
Frequently Asked Questions
Signs he likes me but is holding back?
If you’re wondering if a man likes you but is trying to keep his feelings under control, there are a few signs to look for.
First, he might maintain eye contact during conversations, as if captivated by everything you say.
Also, he might seem to care about your well-being and even give you compliments, but not in an over-the-top manner.
Another clue is when he tries to get physically closer to you, like hugging when you meet or say goodbye, or gently touching your arm during conversation.
All these subtle signs might indicate that he likes you but is holding back his feelings.
What are some giveaways that he’s secretly crushing on you?
A guy who is secretly into you might give you mixed signals. He might also display some giveaways like playing hot and cold (i.e., being really attentive one day and seemingly ignoring you the next).
This mixed behavior is often because he doesn’t know how to behave around you and gets nervous.
Additionally, he might use excuses like “play fighting” or other forms of physical touch to get closer to you without seeming too obvious.
Another giveaway is if his friends seem to know about his interest in you or even tease him about it.
What are psychological signs someone likes you?
There are several psychological signs that someone likes you. For instance, if a person mirrors your body language or gestures, it often indicates that they are emotionally in tune with you.
Another psychological sign is if they lean towards you during conversation, showing that they are genuinely interested in what you’re saying.
Also, if they exhibit increased blinking, increased eye contact or dilated pupils when talking to you, it can indicate that they are attracted to you.
Keep in mind that these signs are not definitive, but they can serve as helpful indicators to gauge someone’s feelings for you.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.