There is nothing more frustrating than not knowing what a guy wants from you.
He is all bells and whistles today, then he ignores you tomorrow.
Guys can often be indecisive about wanting to be with you or not.
If you are one of the lucky ladies who knows what she wants in life, and you don’t want to be played around with, then there is nothing wrong with walking away when he won’t commit.
Sometimes, you can decide to go with the flow and follow his rhythm, but if you are overly unsatisfied with what’s going on, then saying goodbye is not a bad thing at all.
Actually, leaving a relationship that doesn’t fulfil you and meet your standards can be a healthy decision for both of you.
Let’s make it clear:
I am not saying to walk away from him every time you have a disagreement, but if you feel that he is more out than in, then you might consider leaving for good.
Walking Away When He Won’t Commit: Is It A Smart Thing To Do?
Let’s face it: walking away when he won’t commit is a rather smart thing to do, even if it’s a hard thing to do.
Why?
For the following reasons:
Your timeline is different to a man’s. He can bear children his whole life, while you have a specific timeframe that is best for child-bearing (and child rearing, might I add!)
Men will keep you around forever without committing and they won’t even think twice about it.
Simply having a man in your life might keep loneliness at bay, but it won’t make you truly happy. In other words, not walking away when he won’t commit might keep you comfortable, but it won’t make you truly happy and fulfilled.
Not to mention, walking away when he won’t commit is going to save you tons of time, energy, and nerves.
If Mr. Perfect is not ready for you or if he can’t see what he’s missing, then that’s on him.
You only have one life to enjoy, and it’s time to get rid of everyone who’s causing you the most trouble falling asleep at night.
If you are not sure whether to stick around and wait for him to invest himself in the relationship like you do, or to pack up and leave, then check out these reasons that will help give you a nudge in the right direction.
Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
6 Satisfying Reasons to Say Goodbye
#1: If He Ghosts You
I don’t care whether he ghosts you or ghosts you and then comes back, ghosting is not the behaviour of an emotionally committed man.
Look:
If you are head over heels for a guy, it’s really hard to admit to yourself when he’s not treating you right.
When you are in love and investing a lot in him from the very beginning, you most likely ignore all the red flags and it doesn’t seem right to just let go.
Well girl, it’s you we’re talking about here. You have only one life, and no one has the right to mistreat you.
If you are putting your best efforts into making the relationship work, but he just ghosts you whenever he has a “better” thing to do, then don’t hesitate to leave.
You should never tolerate a person who only gives his time to the highest bidder.
A guy that’s interested in you and is potentially planning a future with you, will never play hot and cold and show up only when he needs you.
Recommended: Why Men Ghost: 3 Reasons Men Disappear & What You Must Do.
A healthy relationship is based on mutual understanding, respect, and partnership.
If he ghosts you and then makes a reappearance acting like everything is normal, then something is very wrong with his intentions towards you and he doesn’t deserve your time.
Easier said than done, but you must gather your strength as a woman and learn the value of saying goodbye when you need to honour your own feelings and needs.
Want more confirmation of why there’s tons of value in saying goodbye?
It’s because of the fact that bad treatment is the silent killer of your self esteem. Being ghosted or disrespected eventually leads to you becoming less and less able to show up with the necessary traits to attract a healthy man.
Here’s the bottom line:
The more bad treatment you willingly absorb, the more low value you show up to the high value, healthy guys.
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
#2: If He Emotionally Blackmails You
One of the #1 reasons to leave a relationship ASAP is emotional blackmail.
What Is Emotional Blackmail?
Emotional blackmail is when someone deliberately preys on your emotions to make you do what they want you to do.
Specifically, these three emotions:
- Guilt
- Fear
- Obligation
If you are in a relationship where your guy keeps bringing up past issues just to control you or belittle you in private or in public, then that’s not a relationship.
You can call it emotional sadism, emotional draining, emotional vampirism, and even emotional terrorism, but not a healthy relationship.
If you take a little step back, I’m sure you would agree that manipulating your behavior using painful emotions is just not right.
If he is finding a reason to create perpetual distance between you and if he finds reasons to argue all the time, then he doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even want to be with you, so he is just trying to find a way out by making you feel scared, guilty or backed into a corner.
If you are experiencing something similar to this, then it’s time to pack up your bags and leave NOW.
Would you like some inspiration on how to do this? CLICK Here to discover how Alison ended her cycle of abusive relationships by learning to quickly weed out the “wrong types of men”, inspiring deep devotion from her chosen man and passing the hardest test of them all – an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating!
(…All because of one simple skill every woman should have.)
#3: If You Feel More Miserable than Happy
You may not know this if you’ve been in a bad relationship for some time, but an intimate relationship is supposed to improve the quality of your life, not destroy your quality of life!
This is not to say that there will not be challenges or conflicts between you and your guy, because there will be.
But I’m sure you would agree with me when I say that overall, your relationship should give you a greater sense of joy than it gives suffering. What do you think?
You can work through conflicts, and every healthy couple does. But here’s the difference between a toxic relationship and conflicts:
Working through conflicts should leave you coming out the other end with a clear sense of deeper connection, whilst a toxic relationship always gives you a feeling of greater suffering and disconnection.
And this is despite your best effort to work things through with him.
So yes, walking away when he won’t commit is one of the greatest favors that you can do for yourself.
Here’s another example for you:
Imagine you just started seeing a guy, and things seem ok – he is making all kinds of verbal promises to you – but if you are honest with yourself, he does feel a little distant from time to time.
What do you do?
Are you going to stick around and be his booty call? Or will you linger in the background just so he can have someone to call and chat with in the middle of the night?
And all the while, he won’t even invite you out to meet his family and friends?
Related: 8 Concrete Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You.
If you feel happy when he shows up for sex, but you spend your time apart from him crying over the fact that he never calls for anything else, then you better get your running shoes ready.
You don’t need a guy who treats you as a sex object only, unless that’s exactly what you want.
We all want to be the sexy image when the right time comes, but not to be treated only as a piece of meat. Ouch, that hurts!
From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months! CLICK here to discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
#4: If He Takes You For Granted
Some men will take their woman for granted when they get comfortable. We all run the risk of falling into that trap (even women).
However, if you notice that he is totally putting you aside and expects that your life only revolves around him, then make sure to speak up and remind him that there are other things in your life that beg your attention.
If he then still proceeds to take you for granted, try a few more times – tell him how you really feel.
Here’s How To Talk To A Guy In A Way That Won’t Push Him Away.
If you’ve tried communicating to him, but he still doesn’t step up his game, then you have a decision to make.
Do you stay and keep torturing yourself?
Or do you leave to find someone who is more worthy of you?
The key is to stop looking for mutual love where it doesn’t exist. You owe it to yourself and your short life to accept the reality, and take a step forward.
Trust me, if you are serious about walking away when he won’t commit, then he will regret it very fast.
Thereafter, it’s up to you if you’d give him another chance.
#5: If He Blames You For Things That He Has Done
The attack is the best defense, they say. Or something like that.
While some might disagree with this phrase, I find it convincing when talking about toxic relationships.
And if a man blames you for the things he does himself, there’s a word to describe this behaviour: gaslighting.
Dealing with a gaslighter is never going to be an easy process – and even if you love him, helping him through or being patient with him will take a toll on you.
Are you up for that task? If you are, that’s fair enough. But make sure you know your line in the sand, because if you don’t, and you just tolerate his behaviour, you may get stuck with this man for the rest of your life.
The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave.
Walking away when he won’t commit is the best way to show him where you stand.
Recommended: How to Get Him to Commit: 12 Genius Steps & 2 Mistakes.
#6: When You Realize He Will Always Take More Than He Gives
This is one of the most satisfying reasons to walk away when he won’t commit.
Why?
Because it is the point of no return. It’s the point where you realise that being with him is costing you more than being without him.
You might be intensively in love with him from the start, but if he is not giving you what you came for and ignores your needs, then he’s telling you where you stand.
And in such a case, walking away when he won’t commit is a liberating act.
Also, by leaving a guy who doesn’t want to commit, you are giving yourself a chance to meet someone who will recognize your value and involve you in his life more deeply.
Trust me, you may believe this guy will be the last guy you can get, and therefore you should tolerate the crumbs, because he still cares for you somewhat. But do you really want to settle for a medicare life?
There are very good men out there. You have to trust this, or else you’re doomed to being that woman who tolerates crumbs for the rest of your life.
Bottom line:
Don’t be afraid to leave if he doesn’t want to commit, there is something better for you waiting around the corner.
Now over to you. What do you think is a good reason to walk away? What are your struggles with your current guy? Leave me a comment below and let me know.
Stef Z is an Ecuador based writer dedicated to community work, writing, and theater. She’s dedicating most of her time helping women go through difficult breakups, domestic violence, as well learn the secret language of men.