Are you constantly asking yourself “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” It’s a question that can spiral into a rabbit hole of anxiety and self-doubt.
You might feel like you’re the only one putting effort into the relationship and questioning where your partner’s head is at. It’s natural to feel a sense of uncertainty when a relationship starts to shift.
However, rather than getting caught up in negative self-talk, let’s focus on being proactive by getting to the bottom of this.
Whether your fears are founded or not, being proactive can help you navigate the situation with confidence and clarity. So, let’s consider what it could mean if he is losing interest, and how you can move forward either way.
We will ask the tough questions to help you work out whether your guy is losing interest.
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10 Sure Signs He Is Losing Interest
As someone who is interested in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it can be disheartening to see signs that your partner may be losing interest.
Some telltale signs include:
- A decrease in communication, cancellations or excuses for not spending time together
- No desire to make plans
- He doesn’t compliment you
- You feel a real lack of intimacy (and a lack of desire to be intimate with you on his part)
- Lack of enthusiasm or effort in planning dates; and
- A general lack of interest in your life or interests
While it may be difficult to confront these signs head-on, it’s crucial to at least be honest with yourself about what you see.
If he’s lost interest, you can regain his interest quickly using these methods.
Or if you can see that there’s truly no hope in the relationship, maybe it’s best to move on.
There’s nothing worse than staying in a loveless, lonely relationship where your man is truly losing interest.
Now let’s look at 10 quality questions which will give you the answers to whether your boyfriend is losing interest.
1. How Much Time Does He Spend With You?
The question of how much time a partner spends with you is a crucial aspect of any relationship. It speaks to the level of investment and commitment that each party has for one another.
If you find yourself wondering if your man is losing interest in you, it is important to examine the amount of time he spends with you.
Are you feeling neglected? Do you find that the time you do spend together lacks passion or enthusiasm?
While it is possible that your concerns are the result of overthinking, it is equally possible that your man’s actions – or lack thereof – are indicative of a larger problem.
Such as a lack of emotional connection between you, or even a lack of trust or respect.
The more you respect him, the more time he will want to spend with you, and vice versa.
The more emotionally connected you are to each other, the more you’ll want to be with each other.
If this is not the case for him, then it’s possible that his interest may have waned in a more permanent way.
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2. What Does Your Recent Chat History Show?
If you’re wondering “am I overthinking or is he losing interest?”, take a look at your chat history with him. Are you always initiating texting conversations?
Are you far more enthusiastic in the messages than he is?
And do you write much longer text messages to him than he does to you? Or worse – are you always double texting while he gives one worded answers?
I hate to break it to you, but if this is the case, you’re not overthinking – he may be losing interest.
It’s important to pay attention to how the conversation flows and the effort both parties are putting in.
If you’re constantly initiating and carrying the conversation, it may be a sign that he’s not as interested as he used to be.
However, it’s important to have open communication and ask him directly if he’s still interested in continuing the relationship. Don’t assume the worst without giving him a chance to explain his behavior.
3. He No Longer Cares When You Speak To Him
When someone suddenly becomes disinterested in your conversations, it’s natural to start questioning if they are losing interest or if you’re overthinking.
If he no longer cares when you speak to him, it’s a bit of a red flag. But don’t lose hope just yet! It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that he’s lost interest when he doesn’t seem as engaged in conversation.
But before you start overthinking, take a step back and assess the situation. Is he showing disinterest in other areas of your relationship?
If not, then it’s possible that the lack of interest in conversation is simply due to the fact that he’s distracted or preoccupied.
Instead of assuming the worst, try finding ways to reignite his excitement about talking to you.
Ask him questions about his day, share your own stories and experiences, and most importantly, be present in the moment when you’re speaking with him.
By displaying genuine interest and actively listening to what he has to say, you can help him rediscover the joy of talking to you.
If you find that talking to him in this way is not possible – then there’s a decent chance that he’s actually losing interest.
Moreover, it’s a clear indication that something might be wrong in your relationship and has been for a long time.
4. Is he ignoring you?
If he’s losing interest, the biggest sign you’ll see is that he’s ignoring you.
In fact, if he’s ignoring you, it probably doesn’t just mean he is losing interest – it could be a sign that he’s done altogether.
When someone starts to ignore your calls and messages, it’s a clear indication that they are avoiding you. They may not want to be upfront about it to spare your emotions. But if you take notice of their actions, it’s apparent that they’re losing interest.
If you ask why they didn’t reply, their explanations will be vague or insincere. Even when they do pick up the phone or respond to a message, their enthusiasm will be lacking. You’ll sense their disinterest in the way they talk to you, and they might even forget to reply for an extended period.
This is especially telling if their behavior was not like this before, and there’s been no significant change in their life circumstances.
It’s okay to acknowledge that they’re losing interest, and it’s time to move on. Don’t doubt yourself—you’re not overthinking it.
5. Is He Always Canceling Plans With You?
Being in a relationship means planning and anticipating time spent with your partner. It’s essential to enjoy quality time together, and value the relationship.
If your man cancels plans frequently, it might indicate a lack of investment in the relationship. He may not recognize the significance of spending time with you, and it could suggest his feelings are diminishing.
It’s crucial to observe how frequently he cancels plans and for what reasons. If there is no apparent reason for his frequent cancellations, it may indicate he’s not committed to the relationship’s success.
Continued behavior like this might suggest he’s lost interest in the relationship. It’s vital to consider his actions and communicate your concerns to maintain a healthy relationship.
6. Does He Still Want You Sexually?
If your guy doesn’t want you sexually, that’s a sign of a few possible (bad) things:
- You’ve cheated on him and due to hurt, he can’t do it with you anymore
- He has health issues affecting his sex drive; or
- He’s simply lost interest in sex with with you (which indicates a loss of attraction)
If your guy is losing interest for the third reason (above), then you’re probably not overthinking things, it’s probably true that he is losing interest.
7. Does He Initiate Texts And Calls?
One of the best ways to tell if someone is losing interest is by looking at how much they initiate texts and calls with you.
Your guy may have a lot going on in his life right now, but if he is indeed interested in you, then you’ll notice him initiating conversations with you in the recent past or future.
Even if he’s under a lot of stress, a guy who wants you will not just send you a text back when you start a conversation – he’ll be wanting to text you or call you of his own accord.
Even just to see how you are going.
8. Is He Flirting With Other Women?
One of the clear signs he’s losing interest is when he’s suddenly flirting a lot with other women – and he doesn’t care about how this makes you feel.
A guy who is really not feeling it for you will sometimes act like he wants other women more than he wants you, which can be a very painful and even toxic experience for you.
It’s especially painful if he wasn’t like that before.
But if you are in this situation and you’re still asking yourself, am I overthinking or is he losing interest – the answer is that you’re not overthinking at all.
If you can see the flirting with your own eyes – what more proof do you need?
9. Is His Life Path Diverging From Yours?
As relationships grow and evolve, it’s not uncommon for partners’ life paths to diverge.
It’s important to recognize the signs of change in your relationship and understand if your partner is losing interest or simply following a different path.
However, it’s also possible that you may be overthinking and projecting your own fears onto your partner.
Communication is key in situations like these. Have an honest conversation about each other’s goals and priorities, and try to find common ground.
It may be time to re-evaluate your relationship and consider whether you both still share the same values. Ultimately, it’s important to trust your instincts and make decisions that align with your own personal growth and happiness.
10. Is He Still Excited To See You?
A man who is not losing interest will still be excited to see you. He’ll want to kiss you, hug you and ask you how you are.
He’ll look forward to his time with you.
However, a man who is no longer interested will not feel excited to see you. You’ll even feel him trying to avoid seeing you or speaking to you.
So, ask yourself these questions:
When was the last time you saw a big smile across his face as soon as he laid eyes on your face?
When was the last time he embraced you, telling you how much he looked forward to seeing you and hearing about your day?
When was the last time he was happy to see you happy?
If it was a while ago – or if you can’t even recall a time when any of these things happened – then don’t ask whether you’re overthinking, ask why you’re still with him.
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11. Is He Compassionate When You Try To Bring It Up With Him?
If you try to talk to him or ask him what’s going on, does he respond with compassion? Does he show a desire to work things out with you?
Does he at least try to ease your mind? A guy who’s interested in you definitely will.
If you answered ‘no’ to all my questions above, that’s when you know something is up.
He could be very angry at you, and it could also be that he’s going through something very difficult.
But a guy who is truly interested in you will at least make you feel like he’s trying to ease your mind if you bring up his change of behavior in conversation.
12. Are Other People Concerned For You?
Other people around you will likely feel it if his interest has waned. The people who care about you may say that they don’t like him for you, that he’s not good enough for you, or that he doesn’t love you enough.
They may be worried for you and tell you to move on.
Ask yourself if you can see where they’re coming from. If you can, that’s a sign that he has lost interest.
If you see 3-4 of these signs, it may just be a result of natural changes in the relationship.
All long term relationships go through dips in interest, and sometimes it’s not even a loss of interest. Sometimes it’s just life getting in the way, or the fact that you’re both prioritizing other things.
But if you see 5-6 or these signs, you should be asking yourself where he’s at and what he’s feeling. Perhaps all you need is to work on the attraction in the relationship and he’ll be putty in your hands again.
Yes, building attraction is a skill and you can easily develop it if you care about it.
If you see more than 6 signs on this list, then you can conclude that he’s really losing interest and you’re not imagining it.
What To Do When He’s Losing Interest In You?
If you see 3-5 of the signs, there’s something you can do about this. It’s not about begging him to come back to you with more interest though.
It’s about prioritizing building the attraction in the relationship.
You can do that by creating more physical intimacy, as well as building emotional attraction. The best way to build emotional attraction is through vulnerability and high value banter.
High value banter is a way of bantering with a man that is playful and fun – it cuts through the stress and brings playfulness to the table, allowing excitement and emotional attraction to take over his declining interest.To learn more about high value banter, you can take the free class on high value banter here. (Yes, it’s free and you’ll get lots of examples you can use today).
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.