Have you been wondering whether your ex will come back to you?
It can be a confusing time, and it can be hard to know what to do to maximise the chances of bringing him back.
But don’t worry – I’m here to help!
In this article, we’ll look at eight telling signs that he may return, as well as answer some of the most common questions around the pressing question: will he come back to me?
#1: He’s Taking an Interest In Your Life (Actively!)
The most telling sign that your ex may come back to you is if he’s started to show an interest in your life again.
Of course we’re all nosy about our exes. We want to know what they’re up to, who they’re dating now and what they’re achieving with their lives.
But if he’s asking about how you are emotionally and psychologically, what you’ve been doing and what your schedule is like, that’s a telltale sign he may be thinking about coming back to you.
The key here is that his questions show:
- A genuine care for you
- Care for what your schedule is like
- The desire to know what your stress levels are like; and
- What you’re going through emotionally
Ultimately, your job is not to hope that he’s curious about your life.
Rather, your job is to try to maintain your high value and encourage him to come back that way.
If you don’t keep your high value, then your chances of him coming back are low.
By the way, did you know there are 7 common signs a woman is low value in the eyes of all men?
Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
#2: He Stays in Contact
The caveat here is that he has to stay in contact actively and with significant effort.
If he’s just sending you booty calls, that’s not really staying in contact.
That’s just keeping you around as a casual buddy to sleep with
But if your ex man is sending you messages that don’t include extracting sex from you and if he’s calling you to hear your voice, it’s a good indication that he’s still interested in keeping you – at least to some extent.
If he has gone the extra mile and asked to meet up for coffee or a meal, this is a strong sign that he’s on his way back to you.
#3: He Still Remembers Important Dates.
Ok this one is really telling.
And if he’s doing this, it’s one of the strongest signs he will come back.
To the surprise of many ladies, men do possess a special memory for important dates.
But only for the right woman.
That is, the woman they will always come back to no matter what.
This woman is the one and only. If you’re the one and only, then he won’t ever want to let go of you.
He will show this desire to hold on to you by remembering important dates in your life or relationship.
This includes anniversaries, and birthdays – even those of your family members.
If he calls you to wish you a happy birthday or sends you flowers on your anniversary, this could be a sign that he is thinking about you and potentially wanting to win you back.
Now, there’s something important I can’t neglect here, and that’s an explanation of what the one and only means.
Men categorise the women they date into one of two baskets pretty quickly.
The first basket is the “one and only” basket, and the second basket is the “one of many” basket.
If you’re his “one and only”, he’ll always come back.
But if you’re the “one of many” woman, meaning, he’s not in love with you (and never was), then he’ll probably never come back.
And if he does (because there’s a chance he will), it will be for solely selfish reasons.
Meaning, he’ll only come back for the sex and companionship.
So how do you ensure you can always be his one and only?
Well, it’s a little harder if he already sees you as the “one of many” woman.
But you can definitely get him to put you into the “one and only” basket by learning these 5 feminine secrets to make him fall in love and BEG you to be his one and only.
#4: He Goes Out Of His Way To Help You Out.
Will he come back?
If he’s going out of his way to help you out, then it’s likely that he will.
It may take some time, but he will.
So what constitutes “going out of his way?
It could manifest in him bringing you food, offering to look after your pet, or helping you with a DIY project.
It’s a sign that he still cares about you and wants to do what he can to make your life better.
And men don’t do this consistently for just any woman.
If he’s helping you out consistently over months or years, then yes, he probably will come back.
#5: His Actions are Screaming That He Will Come Back
Pay attention to his actions, not his words.
If your ex man has taken the initiative to do something for you – such as giving you a lift to somewhere inconvenient for him or buying you a gift out of the blue – this can be a strong sign that he’s interested in getting back together.
On the other hand, if he’s saying he wants to get back together, but his actions don’t show it, it’s time to prepare yourself to move on, as hard as that may be.
Actions speak louder than words, so be sure to observe and analyze his actual behavior.
Don’t waste your time on baseless words.
#6: He’s All Over Your Social Media.
Pay close attention to his social media behaviour.
If he’s following your stories and liking and commenting on your posts, it’s a sure sign that he’s still reluctant to let you go.
He may just be keeping tabs on you and trying to find out more about you before he makes any moves.
It’s also a sign that he still cares deeply about you and he wants to stay connected.
#7: It’s In The Way He Looks At You.
Even if you’re not sure he will come back, his eyes will communicate what his heart truly wants.
So if you’re still wondering “will he come back?”, take this sign seriously.
When he looks at you, does he look away quickly or does he hold your gaze?
If he lingers in his glances and looks a bit longer than usual, it could mean that there is something still between the two of you.
Men cannot help but be hyper-focused on a woman they truly love.
Even if unfortunate circumstances caused you to break up, if he sees you as his ‘one and only’, he will come back and his eyes will show that special focus on you.
He will look longer than he should – but not just at your butt or your boobs.
He will be looking at your eyes and your face.
If you catch him doing that, chances are, he really will come back and you’re right to remain hopeful.
#8: He Shows Signs of Jealousy.
Will he come back?
Well, if he still gets jealous when he sees you with other guys or hears about you with other guys, then he might come back.
This one is no guarantee, because he could just want to possess your attention or your body.
But if you notice he gets jealous when you talk about other guys, or when you go out with your friends without him, these could be signs that he still has feelings for you and wants you back.
He may even try to win you back by coaxing you out of meeting with them or making you big promises to get your attention.
But keep in mind: jealousy is not enough to bring back his heart.
It will bring back his ego, but you want his ego and his heart. You want to own both, and not just be a source of an ego boost for him.
If you want to determine exactly how likely he is to commit and how serious he is about you, you can do that with our free and quick quiz.
#9: He Brings Up Your Shared Memories.
This could be a sign of a few things.
Namely, that your ex is testing the waters, that he still cares or is possibly still in love with you.
If he talks about the things you used to do together or the places you used to go, it means he doesn’t fully want to let go of those shared memories and thinks about getting back together with you.
It’s difficult for men to let go of a relationship if the memories are too strong, so if your ex brings up these shared memories, it’s a possible sign that he will come back.
The situations in which he won’t despite bringing up your shared memories is if your behavior or your relationship was far too toxic for him to deal with.
#10: He’s Responsive To Your Attempts To Get Him Back.
A sure sign that your ex is still interested in getting back together is if he’s responding positively to you taking the lead.
In other words, he’s letting you instigate a reconciliation and is responding with equal willingness to get back together.
If he’s comfortable enough to take direction from you and act on it, it could be a sign that he is open to exploring a relationship again.
Not only that, but he might also be too scared to take the first step himself, but he’s certainly hoping you will do it for him.
One Mistake to Avoid When Trying to Get Your Ex Man Back
Acting Out of Desperation
One mistake that women often make (with good intent for themselves of course) is acting out of desperation.
What does it really mean to act out of desperation?
It means you feel like you have no other options, so you take crumbs from him or beg him to come back.
This can make your ex man feel as if you are clinging to him or trying to control him.
It is important to remain calm and try to be a source of love, trustworthiness and dependability.
Desperation can be a major turn off for a man (and for women too of course), so make sure to take a breather and speak to someone to help manage your emotions around this breakup.
It’s a very difficult time right now, I know. But you can do it. You got this.
Frequently Asked Questions
How will I know if he will come back to me?
The truth is, the only way to know for sure if your ex will come back is to pay attention to the signs he’s sending.
He may be trying to tell you something, but he’s too scared to say it out loud.
If he’s keeping in touch with you, following you on social media, and showing signs of jealousy, it’s likely that he still has unresolved feelings for you and there’s a chance he might come back.
But it’s ultimately up to him to decide if he wants to take that step.
How long should you wait for a guy to come back?
Waiting for too long can be detrimental to your mental health.
So, it is important to find the right balance between being available and waiting too long.
If your ex is still showing signs that he is interested, then try to take the initiative and get back in touch with him.
If it’s been a long time, he may need a gentle reminder of your presence.
If he’s not bothering to keep in touch, if he ignores you or has moved on to someone else, then do not wait.
There is no point waiting when you could showcase your high value by simply moving on.
For more on this, see the article: How to be High Value When He Pulls Away In 8 Steps.
If there’s any chance of reconciliation, then walking away, or moving on, would give you a better chance at getting him back than waiting will.
Will he come back if I leave him alone?
It is impossible to answer this definitely because everyone’s situation is different.
That being said, it is possible that by leaving him alone, he may come to realize what he had and is motivated to come back.
That could be the case if he still has feelings for you and if he hasn’t moved on to someone else.
Ultimately, it will come down to your own actions and the strength of your relationship.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.