Have you ever been in a text conversation with a guy that seemed to just end out of nowhere?
Or maybe he just stopped responding after you two were sending naughty messages.
If you have, then you’re likely wondering, “why do guys pull away after sexting?”
Well, if you want to know the answer, you’re in the right place. We will dissect the 10 little-known reasons why men pull away after sexting and what you can do about it.
#1: He got what he wanted.
This is a hard one to stomach. But it’s a reality of how men operate…
Perhaps he got the thrill he wanted, he got you to open up sexually, and now he’s moving on before you can ask for more from him.
More connection, companionship or commitment.
Simply put, some men may be in it for the thrill of sexting and don’t have any real intention of meeting up with the woman they are messaging.
As soon as they receive the naughty messages they were looking for, they pull away because they don’t want to invest anymore.
If you want to know the likelihood that he will commit to you, you can find out with our quick, free quiz:
#2: You’re not the one and only.
…You were one of many.
The relationship expert Renée wade teaches us that men see the women they date as either the one of many, or the one and only.
As you can imagine, only one woman can be in the ‘one and only’ basket, and many women – likely hundreds if possible – could be in any man’s one of many basket.
If your relationship was only based on texting, then it’s likely true that you were not his one and only, but rather, his one of many.
This is why it’s important to pay attention to the signs, ladies.
If a man is messaging multiple women at once and not showing any special investment in you, then it may be time for you to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation.
It’s possible that he was just looking for a bit of fun – like many men do when they meet another ‘one of many’ woman.
But either way, here’s what to do to protect yourself in the future:
Make sure you’re the one and only before you invest too much and get emotionally attached – because he could be the totally wrong guy for you, and you just end up hurt or even heartbroken.
(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
#3: Unmet expectations.
Why do guys pull away after sexting?
Sometimes, men may pull away after sexting because their expectations were not met.
Perhaps he wanted pictures from you that you wouldn’t give, or perhaps he pushed for something and you put up a boundary.
Alternatively, perhaps he was expecting the sexting to fill a hole in his life, and has since realised it couldn’t accomplish that for him.
(Surprise, surprise, right?)
It could also be that he expected a certain level of sexual experience and it wasn’t fulfilled – or that the conversation didn’t lead to what he was hoping for.
In this case, it’s important to remember that if he really wanted to talk to you, he probably would.
Unless he is a very shy guy, he would try to connect with you in some way if he was still interested.
Should you talk to him about it? Should you ask him if the sexing didn’t meet his expectations?
Only if you already had great rapport and trust between you to begin with.
He likely won’t divulge the details of how he feels if your relationship was only based on sexting right from the beginning.
There is one phrase you can text to him in order to capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say though.
#4: He realized that you two don’t have a future.
Sometimes, men will pull away after sexting because they realise that the two of you will likely not work out in the long-term.
It could be due to your different values or lifestyles, or simply because he realises that you two aren’t going to be able to actually hang out in person.
In this case, it’s important to remember that it was probably a good call on his part – it’s better to end things before they get too serious and both of you get your feelings hurt.
The best thing you can do is accept his decision and simply wish him luck on his journey.
- When He Pulls Away, Do Nothing: Here’s 5 Reasons Why.
- 7 Sure Ways to Make Him Miss You Sexually.
- 10 Secret Reasons Why Guys Adjust Themselves In Front Of You.
In some cases, men may feel insecure during or after sexting.
It could be because he’s afraid of being judged by you for the things he said.
He may also fear that he may not be able to satisfy you in person – or that he came across as a creep.
This feeling of insecurity can cause men to pull away and end the conversation before it gets any deeper.
And it’s easy for him to pull away if your relationship was just based on sexting.
In this case, you may have to find a way to reassure him that he is not being judged and he doesn’t need to be afraid.
#6: He’s scared of emotional intimacy.
The truth is that many men, even if they are physically attracted to a woman, can be scared of the emotional intimacy that comes with any kind of relationship – even a short-term one that only involves sexting.
When men sense an emotional connection forming between you, they may pull away in fear.
Here are some reasons why:
- He sees intimacy as a burden
- He doesn’t know how to emotionally connect
- He knows he couldn’t make you happy
- He doesn’t feel like he can provide for you
- Lastly, it could be because he has an insecure attachment style, which brings us to the next answer for why do guys pull away after sexting…
#7: He has an insecure attachment style.
In psychology, attachment styles refer to the way we respond and interact in relationships.
It has been found that there are three main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, and anxious.
If a man has an insecure attachment style – either avoidant or anxious – it may be why he pulls away after getting close to you through sexting.
He might be scared of getting too emotionally attached since his previous relationships didn’t work out. Or he could also be scared of committing too deeply as he doesn’t feel safe when he’s close to someone.
So if you find yourself asking why do guys pull away after sexting even when all signs indicate that he was into you, then it could possibly be because he is scared of getting too close.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to focus on your own life whilst trying to be understanding and patient.
It could take him some time before he finally feels ready to open up and commit to a relationship with you.
Even then, it may be extremely hard to have this man in your life as insecurely attached people can be a lot of work to stay close to.
It makes it even harder if you also have an insecure attachment style.
On that note, would you like to discover your own core attachment style? You can find out for yourself with our quick and easy quiz.
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
What to do if a guy has stopped texting after sexting
Has he stopped texting after sexting?
Then you need a plan for yourself moving forward.
First, it’s important to take some time to reflect on why he might have stopped texting. Consider the reasons why guys pull away after sexting listed above and ask yourself if any of them fit his behaviour.
Second, look at your own behaviour and feelings – did you get attached too quickly?
What can you learn from this experience so that you don’t make the same mistake again in future relationships?
Third, remind yourself of why you’re worth more than a fling or casual relationship with him. Focus on your own growth as an individual while taking time to heal emotionally.
And lastly, be kind to yourself throughout this process — love is never easy but we can always try to make it easier on ourselves.
We hope that this article has provided you with some insight into why do guys pull away after sexting and why he stopped texting after sexting.
Remember, if he pulls away, it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship — take this time to reflect on why he’s pulling away and how you can be supportive of him during this difficult period!
Frequently Asked Questions
Now that we’ve answered why do guys pull away after sexting, let’s answer some other common questions surrounding this topic.
Does sexting create feelings?
This is a difficult question to answer as it largely depends on the individual and the relationship dynamic.
On one hand, sexting does create feelings of attachment which can be difficult to manage if both parties don’t have secure attachment styles.
On the other hand, it could also spark new and exciting feelings that lead to a deeper connection between two people. Ultimately, only you would know how sexting makes you feel!
How long do sexting relationships last?
Sexting relationships can last as long or as short as you’d like them to.
They can range from casual one-time conversations to deep, meaningful connections that span over months and even years.
The length of a sexting relationship will depend on the connection and level of trust between two people.
If both parties are willing to put in the effort to make it work, then a sexting relationship can last for as long as they’d like it to!
How do you end a sexting relationship?
Ending a sexting relationship doesn’t have to be an awkward or uncomfortable experience — it can actually be quite freeing and liberating.
Simply end the conversation with respect and kindness, and leave.
If you end it with kindness and respect, then there’s no need for guilt.
You can say something like this:
“Thank You for the amazing time. I’ll always be grateful for our connection, but I can’t continue this relationship.”
If he stops sexting, is it a sign something is wrong?
It could be a sign that something is wrong but not necessarily.
He may have stopped sexting due to being scared of getting too close or because he doesn’t feel safe in the relationship.
He could also just be taking some time away to focus on his own life and emotional wellbeing.
If you consider him not truly being committed to you emotionally as something that “is wrong”, then there could be in that sense.
It could just be that he can’t offer you the further emotional commitment that you need.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.