Do you feel like your man – or even your relationship – is suffocating and you’re not sure what to do about it?
Maybe you sense that your man needs some time to himself, but you worry about giving him space and losing him altogether.
It’s a difficult balancing act, but it’s possible to give him the necessary breathing room while keeping the intimacy alive. More than possible in fact!
In this article, we’ll explore how to give him space without losing him and why it’s essential for a healthy relationship.
Right now you might feel like this is the scariest thing ever, but in time you’ll see that it’s much better to offer him the space he needs than it is to take it away.
By the way, you can find out how serious he is about you by taking our free quiz.
Why Is It Important To Give Your Man Space?
Everyone will need some space at some point, even in a close relationship. Just like how plants need sunlight and water, men need the freedom to pursue their mission and recharge their batteries.
But giving him space doesn’t mean abandoning him entirely or allowing him to drift away.
Rather, see it as a way to strengthen the bond between you two and a way to make the time you do spend together even more special.
When your man has time to himself, he’ll return to the relationship feeling more energized and ready to give more of himself emotionally.
So, we’ll briefly discuss exactly why men need space so much, and then we’ll dive into some practical ways to give your man space while keeping the relationship on track.
Why men need space
Have you ever wondered why men need space? Well, it’s not about running away or avoiding spending time with you.
Instead, it’s about creating personal time to recharge. Men need time to focus on their own thoughts, interests, and hobbies. It’s how they de-stress and find clarity in their minds.
The truth is, without personal space, men can become easily agitated and overwhelmed, which could negatively affect their relationships.
Men value their independence and having their own slice of heaven where they can get away from the outside world.
So ladies, let’s support our men in having their space. It’s okay to enjoy time apart – it doesn’t mean they value you any less.
In fact, it can strengthen your relationship as both partners can bring fresh energy and ideas to the table. Remember, space can be a positive thing and not something to be afraid of.
If you’re keen to spend your time productively while he needs space, you may be interested in learning about high value vulnerability.
High value vulnerability is the ONE emotional trigger than allows you to form an inseparable bond with your man, and inspire him to commit to you and only you:
10 Sure Signs He Needs Space
- He spends less time with you
- He becomes distant
- He is not responsive to calls and messages
- He avoids physical intimacy
- He picks fights or arguments more frequently
- He cancels important plans and commitments
- He becomes more irritable or moody
- He starts making excuses not to see you
- He spends more time alone or with friends
- He doesn’t show interest in your life or activities.
If you feel unsure about whether he needs space or is done with the relationship, read this article: Does He Need Space Or Is He Done? 10 Ways to Tell.
12 Things to Do When Giving Him Space Without Losing Him
#1: Let him know it’s ok with you when he needs space
How to give him space? First let him feel ok about taking space for himself.
Tell him directly that you understand that everyone needs some alone time and that you are comfortable with him taking space when he needs it.
Reassure him that it doesn’t mean you are upset or that you don’t love him, but that you respect his need for time to recharge or think things through.
Make sure he knows that when he’s ready to reconnect, you’ll be there for him.
The exception here is that if he’s an avoidant, perhaps you should be aware that him taking space will never mean more intimacy when he comes back.
#3: Focus on enjoying your own space
As hard as it is to let go and give him his space sometimes, try to make it easier on yourself by enjoying your own space.
There’s a lot you can do with yourself and your life if you also take the space for yourself. You can focus on your hobbies, learn new skills, spend time with friends and family, or simply relax and recharge.
Instead of constantly worrying about what he’s doing or feeling anxious about the state of your relationship, try to redirect your thoughts to your own goals and interests.
Remember, though it’s amazing and beneficial to have your man close, you don’t need a man to lead a happy and fulfilled life.
By focusing on your own growth and happiness, you’ll become a stronger, more appreciative and confident person who is capable of creating a fulfilling life for yourself. (Regardless of your relationship status!)
#4: Avoid acting in low value ways
The fact is that when a man needs space, a lot of women do things to try to sabotage his ability to actually take that space.
Usually due to internal fears of their own, women can unknowingly make it a much harder time for the guy (and for themselves) than it needs to be.
Usually they do this by showing up in low value ways.
Nobody is truly low value, but it’s easy to slip up and act in low value ways when your boyfriend says he wants space.
What are low value behaviors when he wants space? Here are a couple of examples:
- Acting like he’s being a horrible person when his intentions are innocent; and
- Smothering him
If you’d like to learn more, read this FREE Report on the 7 common low value signs in women. CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
#5: Invest in other relationships
How to give him space but not lose him? The simplest way is to take the chance now to invest in other relationships.
Yes it’s important to invest in other relationships, as that helps meet your needs outside of your relationship with your guy.
This only helps fill up your feminine soul in a positive way – as long as your other relationships are not toxic, of course!
6: Accept him as be is rather than changing him
Accepting someone as they are is not always easy, but it is necessary for any healthy relationship.
Instead of trying to change your partner to fit your expectations, allow him to be himself.
It can be tempting to want to mold him into the perfect partner, but that can lead to resentment and frustration on both sides.
The truth is, we all have flaws and imperfections, and accepting them is a key part of true love.
So, how can you give your partner the space he needs to be himself?
By giving him the freedom to express himself and pursue his own interests. This shows that you trust, accept and respect him.
You can also encourage him to pursue his passions and support him in his endeavors.
Remember, true love allows space for both partners to be themselves and grow together. So, embrace your partner’s unique qualities and accept him for who he is.
7: Make him miss you in high value ways
This is a way of giving back to him and to the relationship – you make him miss you by giving him the space.
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always available to him? Do you long for the days where he was chasing after you?
Well, here’s a secret: by creating distance, you create the opportunity for him to feel the gravity of your absence and miss the energy you bring to the relationship.
It’s all about finding the balance between being present and being absent.
So go ahead, take that yoga class you’ve been wanting to try or plan a weekend away with your girlfriends. Trust me, he’ll start missing you in no time.
And in the end, it’ll only strengthen your relationship.
8: Help him feel good about his independence
Still wondering how to give him space but not lose him? The key is to actually make him feel good about his own independence.
You let him know that it’s a trait you love about him.
That doesn’t mean you don’t get sad when he takes a lot of space, that also doesn’t mean you don’t miss him.
But you can also enjoy the fact that he’s capable of independence – as there are needy guys out there, and nobody really wants those guys.
Give him this significance where he least expects it and it will be a form of value to your man.
5 Low Value Mistakes to Avoid When Giving Him Space
#1: Bombarding him with messages
One mistake to avoid when giving a man space is bombarding him with messages.
It’s tempting to send many messages of course, as him pulling away can trigger allll the fears.
But if you can avoid doing this, you’ll be well on your way to showing up as a high value woman!
#2: Constantly checking in on him
Another mistake to avoid is constantly checking in on him.
This includes calling, texting, and showing up at his work or house unannounced. The more you “check in” for your own reasons, the more crazy you may seem to a guy.
So just give him space and trust that he will reach out when he is ready.
#3: Trying to control the situation
Don’t try to control the situation or manipulate him into coming back to you.
Instead, focus on yourself and your own growth. This will show him that you are a high value woman.
Try not to be someone who won’t (or can’t) listen and accept it when their partner needs space.
#4: Being passive-aggressive
Avoid being passive-aggressive or making snarky comments towards him.
This will only push him further away and damage any chance of reconciliation. Stay positive and focus on your own happiness.
Time always passes, remember that!
In the end you will have your answer as to where he’s at and what he wants, even if it means he never contacts you again (which is truly the worst case scenario). You will have your answers in time.
#5: Overthinking and assuming the worst
I know it can be tough not to overthink and assume the worst when it comes to relationships, but it’s important to remember that those negative thoughts aren’t always accurate.
Instead of letting them take over, try focusing on what you can control. For example, how can you give him space without losing him?
Maybe give him some time and space to himself, but also make sure to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings.
Remember, trust and communication are key in any relationship. And if you find yourself still struggling with overthinking, try practicing mindfulness and staying in the present moment rather than letting your thoughts spiral out of control.
You’ve got this!
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Frequently Asked Questions
How can I give my boyfriend space without losing him?
Here are some tips for giving him space without losing him:
- Ask him what kind of space he needs, and try to understand where he’s coming from.
- Make sure that you’re not constantly texting him or calling him when he’s trying to have some alone time.
- Find a hobby or activity that you also enjoy doing alone, so that you’re not as tempted to fill up all of your free time with your boyfriend.
- Let him know that you support him and that you’re not upset with him for needing some time away.
If you do all these things, you’ll be well on your way to solving the issue of how to give him space but not lose him.
What should I do if I want space in my relationship?
Feeling like you need space in a relationship is completely normal.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not happy with your guy or that you’re looking to end things. Here are some tips for asking for space:
- Be honest with him about how you’re feeling. Explain that you’re not looking to break up, but that you need some time alone.
- Make sure that you’re not neglecting your guy’s emotional needs. It’s important to communicate with them and let them know that you still care.
- Be open to his suggestions. Maybe you can find a way to spend time together that doesn’t feel overwhelming.
How much space do couples need?
This is a difficult question to answer, as every couple is different.
Some couples may be perfectly happy spending all of their time together, while others may need more time apart.
It’s important to communicate with your partner and figure out what works best for both of you. Remember that everyone has different needs, and it’s important to respect those needs.
What should I do if my boyfriend says he needs space?
If your boyfriend says he needs space, it’s important to listen to him and respect his needs. Here are some tips for handling the situation:
- Let him have the space, honoring that the space serves him right now.
- Don’t become passive aggressive or punish him; and
- Trust that him asking for space isn’t always a threat to the relationship, unless he already wasn’t committed to you. It’s just what he needs.
Does giving space mean no contact?
Giving him space doesn’t necessarily mean no contact. It’s important to understand that everyone needs their own time and space, especially during difficult times.
By giving him some space, you’re allowing him to process his thoughts and emotions without feeling overwhelmed.
This doesn’t mean you have to completely cut off communication – instead, respecting his boundaries and checking in with him periodically can show that you care and support him.
Giving him space can be a powerful tool for building trust and strengthening your relationship. So don’t worry, a little distance doesn’t have to mean no contact.
How long to give him space?
Don’t worry too much about how long to give him space. The most important thing right now is to give him the time and space he needs to process his thoughts and emotions.
It’s not about waiting for a specific number of days or weeks, it’s about respecting his need for space and allowing him to come back to you when he’s ready.
Remember that everyone is different and some people may need more time than others.
So instead of focusing on the duration, focus on taking care of yourself and taking this opportunity to reflect on what you want and need in the relationship.
Can space save a relationship?
Can space save a relationship? Yes, it absolutely can!
Sometimes when things get overwhelming or feel suffocating, taking a step back and giving each other some breathing room can be just the refresh you both need to come back stronger than ever.
Don’t be afraid to communicate with your man, and let him know that you get that space is needed by everyone sometimes.
In fact, let him know that you know some time apart doesn’t mean you love him any less – it’s just a healthy way to work through some of the issues you may be facing.
Trust that the bond you share will only grow stronger when you reunite!
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.