God Used an Eight Year Old By Betty Kalbes

We may be the only Jesus our child’s partner ever sees.

Betty Kalbes Director

Betty Kalbes
The Way Out

Thirty-three years ago I asked my daughter a question and her answer would change our relationship for years to come.  I asked her if she was a lesbian.  She said she was and “Did I hate her?”  I told her I didn’t hate her I loved her, but I hated the life she was choosing to live.  She told me she could tell me where I could go for help (PFLAG) and I told her I didn’t need help. She was the one that needed the help.  How little did I know how much help I was going to need.  I didn’t want anybody to know she was a lesbian.  She was my daughter and I loved her and I didn’t want anyone talking about her.  I didn’t want to tell my pastor; “What would he think of Debbie?”  I hadn’t heard of Exodus and I had no idea of where to go for help.  I knew for sure it wasn’t PFLAG.  When I first found out about Debbie I told her she could never bring anyone home.  Our relationship was very strained.  I felt like I was losing her and I didn’t want that.  In the mean time I read a book by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies called, Someone I Love is Gay.  In the book Anita said, “We may be the only Jesus our child’s partner ever sees.”  She also said that partner may accept Jesus as their Savior and lead our child back to Him.  That really opened my eyes.  Debbie’s partner sure wasn’t seeing Jesus in me.  Even though it was still hard for me I did let her bring her partner home.  I kept praying that God would remove Debbie from the lifestyle, and then the Holy Spirit asked me where her relationship was with Him.  I knew I needed to be praying about her relationship with God and not about her lifestyle.  When I started praying about Debbie’s relationship with God our relationship started to change little by little.  Debbie and her partner at that time were fostering children.  They had a little 8-year-old foster girl who told them if they didn’t start taking her to church then she was going to the Jewish synagogue next door.  This little girl was not raised in church, but really wanted to go.  They decided they better get her in church so off they went.  The church God sent them to was wonderful.  The pastor and congregation reached out to them with so much love.  After they had gone there a few weeks the pastor and his wife met with them.  He told them that they taught homosexuality was a sin because that’s what the word of God says, but they were welcome to worship at their church.  After about three or four years of going to church there Debbie gave her life back to Jesus.  About 6 or 8 months later her ex-partner gave her life to Jesus.  Four years ago Debbie attended her first Exodus conference.  During praise and worship she took my hand and asked, “Did you ever think we’d be at an Exodus conference together?”  Three years ago her ex-partner attended her first conference.  I will forever be grateful for that little 8-year-old foster girl and a pastor that didn’t compromise the word of God.  What a might God we serve.

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