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We may be the only Jesus our child’s partner ever sees.

God Used an Eight Year Old By Betty Kalbes

Betty Kalbes Director

Betty Kalbes
The Way Out
Director

Thirty-three years ago I asked my daughter a question and her answer would change our relationship for years to come.  I asked her if she was a lesbian.  She said she was and “Did I hate her?”  I told her I didn’t hate her I loved her, but I hated the life she was choosing to live.  She told me she could tell me where I could go for help (PFLAG) and I told her I didn’t need help. She was the one that needed the help.  How little did I know how much help I was going to need.  I didn’t want anybody to know she was a lesbian.  She was my daughter and I loved her and I didn’t want anyone talking about her.  I didn’t want to tell my pastor; “What would he think of Debbie?”  I hadn’t heard of Exodus and I had no idea of where to go for help.  I knew for sure it wasn’t PFLAG.  When I first found out about Debbie I told her she could never bring anyone home.  Our relationship was very strained.  I felt like I was losing her and I didn’t want that.  In the mean time I read a book by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies called, Someone I Love is Gay.  In the book Anita said, “We may be the only Jesus our child’s partner ever sees.”  She also said that partner may accept Jesus as their Savior and lead our child back to Him.  That really opened my eyes.  Debbie’s partner sure wasn’t seeing Jesus in me.  Even though it was still hard for me I did let her bring her partner home.  I kept praying that God would remove Debbie from the lifestyle, and then the Holy Spirit asked me where her relationship was with Him.  I knew I needed to be praying about her relationship with God and not about her lifestyle.  When I started praying about Debbie’s relationship with God our relationship started to change little by little.  Debbie and her partner at that time were fostering children.  They had a little 8-year-old foster girl who told them if they didn’t start taking her to church then she was going to the Jewish synagogue next door.  This little girl was not raised in church, but really wanted to go.  They decided they better get her in church so off they went.  The church God sent them to was wonderful.  The pastor and congregation reached out to them with so much love.  After they had gone there a few weeks the pastor and his wife met with them.  He told them that they taught homosexuality was a sin because that’s what the word of God says, but they were welcome to worship at their church.  After about three or four years of going to church there Debbie gave her life back to Jesus.  About 6 or 8 months later her ex-partner gave her life to Jesus.  Four years ago Debbie attended her first Exodus conference.  During praise and worship she took my hand and asked, “Did you ever think we’d be at an Exodus conference together?”  Three years ago her ex-partner attended her first conference.  I will forever be grateful for that little 8-year-old foster girl and a pastor that didn’t compromise the word of God.  What a might God we serve.

Mystified By His Glory By Jacob Morgan

JacobJacob Morgan’s Story

I was raised in a Christian home, believing that all I needed to do was be baptized; and at age 12 I did just that. I was involved in everything going on at church. Church had become a ritual, a habit. All of these activities were right, but something was not right in my heart. I had not surrendered my whole life and will to the Lord.

In the ninth grade I was dating a girl. Having a girlfriend seemed to give me the confidence that I craved. Her ex-boyfriend found me an easy target and started calling me gay nearly every day. The words went deep into my heart and mind. I daily struggled with strong attractions to guys, but I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t know how to stop the name calling without a confrontation. My mom told me to turn the other cheek. This was the most difficult thing for me, and I could never shrug it off. By then, my struggle with homosexuality became a reality. My mind became a battlefield. I didn’t understand why God was allowing me to be hurt so deeply. Nothing I did helped.

I never could get along with guys or feel a part of their circle. I always felt different. Instead, I always hung out with girls.

While in twelfth grade, I strayed from the Lord. I was tired of fighting the battle, and I gave in. I decided to be gay and embrace the lifestyle. I started to see a secular psychologist, which only helped fuel my confusion. One day he explained sexuality to me and talked about people “riding the fence.” I felt pushed to make a commitment as to where I was going to be with my sexual orientation.

One day, while working at a gay-friendly job I had taken, a man who seemed interested in me approached me. I helped him and before I knew it, the cashier was bringing me his phone number. I remember looking at the number and seeing it as my ticket into homosexuality. I was hesitant to call, but I did. I met him that night at a hotel. I was terrified. Afterwards, I felt dirty. I felt as if I had gone too far. I thought that I was now officially gay and there was no turning back.

When I turned eighteen, I went to a gay bar for the first time. There was something about it that made me feel wanted. I craved the attention. From there I went into a series of relationships. Each one ended in some type of frustration or fight. One of the men ended up calling my parents and telling them I was gay. My world was turned upside down. I told my parents it was a lie, and they settled down. But, I kept meeting men while hoping that my parents wouldn’t find out.

I decided to attend Charleston Southern University (in the Fall of 2003), wanting to go to a more liberal part of the state. College became a life of drugs, parties, going to gay bars, and meeting guys on the Internet. I got heavily involved with internet pornography and became consumed with masturbation. Out of fear, having not practiced “safe-sex”, I was constantly getting tested for HIV. My college life was being thrown away through risky sexual behavior, alcohol, drugs, parties, bars, cigarettes, and HIV scares. I was making A’s and seemed happy, but I wasn’t at all.

I surrounded myself with people that would accept me. Hatred, rage, and anger were building in my heart, and I didn’t even know it. My heart was becoming harder and darker, and my thinking was becoming less clear.

In my second semester (Spring of 2004) at Charleston Southern University, I was hospitalized on several occasions for four to five days at a time. I was trying to accept my lifestyle, but I was in complete misery. After this, I dropped out of school and came home.

In the Fall of 2004, I enrolled at Spartanburg Technical College and started working. I knew I was getting into trouble when I applied for the job. My manager was gay, and very quickly that relationship became sexual.

The battle inside me was dark and raging. Once, I picked up a lighter and held the flame to my skin, burning myself badly. I can’t tell you why I did this, but it felt good. It was euphoric, and as if I wasn’t doing it.

After pursuing the relationship with my manager (in 2004), I was in the hospital again, this time for depression, suicidal thoughts, and abusing prescription drugs. I was addicted to sex and everything else I was involved in. I was gratifying myself, stuck in self-pity and self-hatred, and wanted others to constantly build me up. I got deeper into drugs, now using cocaine. I started getting piercings, ending up with 26 in all, as well as 14 tattoos. The pain was an escape for me.

After the summer of ‘05, I started back to Spartanburg Tech. I got through the semester and at the end I decided to apply to Clemson University, to get away from home. I knew I wasn’t ready for such a big school. I was moving into a room with three guys and I was terrified. One day I heard them laughing and thought they were making fun of me. I was upset and left Clemson early that morning. That same day my dad helped me move everything out, and I came home.

For two weeks, I just hung around the house trying to figure out what to do. My dad mentioned the University of South Carolina Upstate (Spring 2006). I didn’t want to go because I would have to live at home, but registered anyway. I wondered when I would have the chance to escape from home. I attended my first semester and made no friends. I was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. I got involved with a counselor at Upstate. She introduced me to some new books and to the Unitarian Church, where I attended a few times. I was involved in a number of relationships. I ended up meeting a guy I really cared for named “Michael.” I became more serious about him than any of the others. We were inseparable. We fought a lot, got drunk a lot, and used drugs together. All of my heart was for him.

We bought rings and got tattoos to show our love for each other. We planned on getting engaged, but ended up in a big fight and took off our rings. We soon got back together. I was very indecisive about committing to our relationship. In the back of my mind, I knew homosexuality was wrong.

One day I got a call saying that “Michael” was in the hospital in very bad condition. I thought he would be okay, get out, and we would get back together. Two friends went with me to the hospital where we found out that he had died. I fell apart. I left the room and cried. I remember standing in line to go back to see him and having no idea what to think. I gave him a kiss on his forehead and looked at the tattoo that we had gotten together. I wanted to die. I dropped out of school the next day. I sank into a deep depression and was completely lost without him. Alcohol abuse and depression landed me in the hospital again for five days. Soon afterwards, I started drinking again.

I got deeper into pornography, and wasn’t improving at all. I was lost in life and stayed drunk all summer. After “Michael’s” death, I lived with two friends before moving back home with my parents thinking, “What now?” I had no idea what to do with my life or with myself.

I went to my mom in late September of ‘07 and told her I needed help. She had been praying for me every day. She told me about Truth Ministry (now Hope for Wholeness) and Bill Creech. He had been helping my parents through counsel, prayer, and Truth’s family support group. Bill and I started meeting regularly and continued for seven months. I was also meeting with Scott Wolfe and Dr. Cox in order to get all the godly counsel I could.

One day, my mom told me about a place called Pure Life Ministries that Dr. Cox had told her about. I looked it up and decided to apply. Two weeks later I headed to Kentucky. Before I left, I felt led to read Jeremiah 29:11. God was assuring me of His direction for my life.

I got on campus and went to the service that morning. After the service I smoked my last cigarette. I was so anxious. I had no clue what to expect from the Live-In Program at Pure Life; and I had to live in a dorm room with men I didn’t even know.  I was scared and uncomfortable around the men.  The first few days I sat around the dorm, did homework, and didn’t talk to anyone.

Spiritual experiences became more real to me at Pure Life. I struggled with thoughts of my past, “Michael’s” death, and missing my friends. The spiritual battles never slacked off; they got worse the closer I got to God. My counselor initiated people praying for me. It helped a lot, but no matter what, I was always in a battle.

When I went to Pure Life, I thought I would be there until December and graduate. However, the spiritual warfare got so bad that I was placed in a local hospital. I called my dad, and they were on the way to pick me up. I ended up leaving early in September (2008). We got home that night, but I was still under spiritual attack. I was upset because I hadn’t finished the program. I started getting better, but encountered another spiritual attack in November. I never gave up on God, but I did wonder why he was letting me go through all of this. It was like the devil wanted to see if I would give up or deny Jesus.

After all of this took place, I began to finish Pure Life over the phone. I started in January of 09’ and finished in April. At the same time I went through another program entitled, Cleansing Streams.

I gave my testimony at Cleansing Streams and told them it could be one sentence, “I am free.” Jesus is now my best friend. He’s my Deliverer, Redeemer, Healer, Purifier, and much more. He’s absolutely all I need in this world.

I thank God today that he didn’t let me die. His grace and mercy followed me throughout the darkness and the pits I put myself into.  I am continuing to grow each day, but my story will never change.

Dan Almeter

Dan Almeter Referral Counselor, Augusta GA

Dan Almeter
Referral Counselor 
Augusta, GA

Dan Almeter

I struggled with some ssa feelings in my late adolescence but never acted out on them. Nor did I ever get into any porn. The feelings however were very scary to me and I was confused even more when certain men “hit” on me.

In my 20’s I got involved in a great group of Christian men who literally mentored me into mature masculinity.

I got married at age 26 and have 6 most awesome children and now 7 grandchildren.

When I went back to school at age 40 to get my masters in counseling at a public college, I was bombard with facts about homosexuality that I knew weren’t true. My professors were trying to convince me that homosexuality was perfectly in line with my Christian beliefs. This started me on a course of doing more research to argue what I knew was the truth about homosexuality. I started reading whatever books I could find and got involved in NARTH.

Eventually, I ventured into doing actual counseling in this area. When I hung out my shingle to do this about 10 years ago, the first client I got, had such dramatic improvement over a period of months, that I was convinced I was on the right track. Since then, I have seen scores of teens and young men who struggle with homosexuality. A number of them have made progress in decreasing their homosexual behavior and/or same sex attraction.”

Stepping Stones

Shawn HarrisonShawn Harrison

When I was about 14, I remember watching a PBS news segment on gays & lesbians. They showed two guys kissing, and something clicked within my head, “That’s who I am! I’m gay.”

Though I was a typical boy in grade school who chased the girls, I also knew I was different than my male peers. This feeling of difference carried into my middle school years. I had girls that were friends, I even tried dating some of these girls, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still different. It didn’t help that others labeled me by my difference, openly declaring this to myself and others. It seemed that my peers knew I was gay before I did.

Knowing that I was gay, and being comfortable with myself, I wanted to express who I was, just as others expressed themselves. I knew being gay was seen as weird and confusing, but I didn’t see my sexuality as a threat to society. I wanted to embrace my sexuality, and all things gay, and I wanted others to see things my way – without question. The problem I faced, though, was that others didn’t want to see things my way; rather, they avoided the conversation and topic altogether, surmising that ignorance, jokes, and chastisement were better ways to deal with “my gayness.”

My high school years were hell. I hated every minute of those four years. Still, when I reflect upon my high school years, my stomach turns in knots and anger-pain begins to well up inside. I wasn’t too much into sports, though I played baseball, soccer, and swimming. I didn’t know a thing about trucks, cars, or any other mechanical thing, but I could tell you a lot about painters and musicians. I didn’t hang with the popular crowd, nor was I accepted by them, but my band of friends were trustworthy people who accepted me as I was. The majority of my high school wished my gay friends and I would leave and disappear. I wanted to leave and disappear – though my attempts failed.

With my headphones on blaring Queen, most days I would walk to school in a complete depressed daze. I would walk the halls as quick as I could, trying to avoid the names (faggot), the threats (“Gonna beat you, faggot”), guys mimicking someone gay, the stares, the rumors, etc. Besides my friends, I immersed myself into painting and writing. Though I rarely was honest with others about how I was, I could always express my true emotions inside the arts. This was my escape. However, I longed for a real escape – from everything and everyone.

I hated God and Christians. They seemed to be my biggest enemies during my school years. My Christian peers would offer grace and Jesus to everyone but my gay friends and I. We were the ones totally lost and damned to hell. We were the ones God didn’t love because we were the ultimate sinners. In 11th grade, however, I became friends with a Christian girl who was different. We all knew that Yvonne was a Christian, but she didn’t shove the Bible down our throats, nor did she sit there and condemn us to hell every minute. Yvonne befriended us and showed us who Jesus was by the way she lived and interacted with us. Sure, she messed up at times, but she was genuine in her faith and friendship.

In July of 1996, after graduating high school, I ran away with my boyfriend. We checked into a hotel room until we could find a permanent place to live. That night I experienced a strange occurrence, which could only be explained as an encounter with God. I left the hotel room that night with a bag of clothes, my savings, and having asked Jesus to help me “get out of everything,” if He was real. Though I didn’t “pray the sinner’s prayer,” I mark this day as my spiritual birthday, for this was the day I began my journey from darkness to light.

For the next fours years, I struggled to connect and reconcile my faith and sexuality. I threw myself into ex-gay groups, prayer meetings, men’s retreats, books, revivals, worship, bible studies, etc; I wanted to be 100% straight; I wanted to be normal, just like every other man. At times I even prayed that God would give me straight lusts and temptations – anything, just to feel normal. But all my prayers went unanswered. The promises of my ex-gay groups proved to be lies, or at least promises I wasn’t allowed to receive. I determined in my mind that I had to live a double-life, and that if I tried hard enough, I could pull everything off.

I didn’t accept Jesus because I didn’t want to go to hell. I accepted Him because I wanted the love, hope, and life He offered. I also didn’t accept Him in order to be straight and accepted; however, if He was offering this to others like me, than I wanted it, too. Because I didn’t receive my straightness and acceptance, though, I concluded I had done too much evil and this was punishment. Therefore, I had to live with being attracted to men – forever. So I lived a double-life, in that I was a good Christian man by day, and I went to gay bars, hooked up with guys, and consumed gay porn by night.

My Christian accountability partners knew I “struggled with sexual things,” but I never offered more info than that – nor did they ask. I stayed away from dating, using the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” as a cover-up. I had some good friends that were girls, and two of them I tried to date, but I came back to homosexuality every time. I was gay, and there was nothing anyone or I could do; this is who I was. Naturally, then, I quickly started to embrace pro-gay Christian theology: God made me this way, because God doesn’t think being gay is wrong. In fact, God blesses those who are gay in unique ways.

At the end of August in 2000, after some amazing encounters with God and after a hard-pressed summer of personal battles, God sat me down to talk. As I sat at a computer, staring off into the corner of my room, I saw a hand extend from the wall and a person falling. God had told me that the arm was His and I was the one falling. He said I was going to continue to fall until I was ready to surrender everything. I saw the hand disappear and I saw myself falling deep into an unknown. I was left with the word “decide.” The next day, my three best friends “kidnapped” me, took me to a park, and told me to spill my guts on everything. And I did.

Afterwards, with the full support of my friends, I moved out of my apartment and back into my step-dads house. For the next few weeks, God and I began to talk in-depth. I had stopped going to church, praying, and reading my Bible. Picking up where I abruptly shut Him off, God began speaking loud and clear. One thing He said very clearly was this question, “Shawn, would you still worship and follow Me if I never take away your same-sex attractions?” A serious question which definitely needed an answer. With a heartfelt “yes,” God began restoring things in my life and moving me into uncomfortable directions.

For the first time I met a woman and fell in love with her. After telling Emily everything about me, we started dating seriously. In May 2001, we were married. And though these past 12.5 years have had huge ups and downs, God has kept us together on the path He laid before us. Our marriage is healthier now than when we were first married, and we deal with different issues now than we did before. Each step taken has been a blessing, though, because within each step we’ve grown as individuals, spouses, parents, and as children of God. I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything.

Though I still deal with same-sex attractions, I am ever committed to my family and my Savior. I still don’t like girls, accept for my wife, but I don’t have a desire to live as an openly gay man either. Over the years, I have discovered that Jesus is it – He is the fulfillment of all desires, and nothing can sustain me as He can. Together, my wife and I run Six:11 Ministries in order to help others who are walking a similar journey experience God’s identity and wholeness for them. Our heart is to tell God’s story and “be Jesus” to those who need to experience Jesus. As Christ and others met me where I was, so I want to meet others where they are, pointing them to a Savior who died for them out of sincere and unconditional love.

Shawn Harrison is the director of Six:11 Ministries in Saint Marys, OH.

We had no direction. We were ashamed and I felt guilty. What did I do to cause this? What could I have done differently? How can I “fix” this?

A Mother’s Journey

Nora SeemanNora Seemann

My oldest daughter Beth lived the homosexual lifestyle for almost 24 years. Never once, during that time, did we hear “Mom, I’m gay.” Beth is the oldest of my four children from my first marriage and this is our story.

When my children were four to 11 years old, their Dad chose to walk out on us after his unfaithfulness and sexual abuse of our nine-year old daughter. Fourteen months later I was granted a divorce.

Times were difficult for us, but with Christ we stayed active in church. Unable to afford a sitter on my salary, Beth became the main caretaker of her three siblings while I worked. I was in such depression, I didn’t realize the problems I was presenting to my children because of this. Beth lost her childhood and her siblings resented her position over them. These years later, there are still some repercussions over this.

About eight and a half years after the divorce, I met a Christian man – someone who won the approval of each of the children.

Ten years after the divorce from my children’s father, Fred and I planned to be married.

In January of 1979, we went to a local mall to shop for our wedding rings. After we made the purchase, we turned to leave the store and froze in our tracks. Beth and a girl were walking together in the mall. They were hand-in-hand and kissing each other – on the lips. Needless to say, we were shocked. Fred took me home and waited with me until Beth came in. He confronted her about her behavior and her excuse was “My friend had bad news and I was comforting her.”

This girl was a girl from our church! We knew her Christian mother! Her sister was my assistant teacher in Sunday School! This behavior was not what we expected from either of these young ladies and I – I felt numb, ashamed, guilty, and grief-stricken. My children were raised in church and each had made a decision for Christ in their childhood. We were active in church, and I had seen nothing out of the ordinary in Beth’s life that would cause me to question her lifestyle.

Two days after this incident, Beth had her twenty-first birthday. The next day, Fred married me, in spite of it all. Being an only child raised by his father, Fred had no idea what the future held for him, for us, or for the children who were then 14 to 21.

Fred confronted Beth one morning a few months after we were married. At the time, Beth was working as a bartender and had brought an unknown girl home to spend the night. They were in bed together, asleep. Another confrontation. It wasn’t long before Beth moved out and shared a rental unit with yet another “friend.” That “friend” came with Beth when she’d visit us. She joined us on holidays and for birthday celebrations. They never behaved in any questionable way, in our presence. We were always dealing with unconfirmed suspicions regarding her life. It was extremely unsettling.

Shortly after this relationship ended, Beth (who had been in the Air Force Reserves while in High School) elected to join the active Air Force. Later Beth would tell me this was when she openly lived the homosexual lifestyle. Over the years, when Beth would visit home and go to church with us, she would respond to the invitation to give her heart and life to Christ. Then she would leave, and resume life as she had before.

When it was time for reenlistment, Beth did not reenlist. Instead, she had a baby. They were living in another state, and Beth had another partner.

When our granddaughter was about five years old, Beth sold her home there and moved back to Ohio. Other partners entered the picture.

When our granddaughter was 12 years old, she was diagnosed with leukemia and was hospitalized for a full month, where she experienced many painful treatments including chemo and radiation to her head and a stroke. It was then, January 2001, that Beth came to the realization that God could/might take her daughter unless she changed her way of living. This crisis brought Beth to God in repentance and she received His love and forgiveness.

In 2002, Beth told Fred, “2001 was the worst year of my life; yet, it was the best year of my life.” The worst – because of her daughter’s diagnosis and the endless pain she suffered. The best – because her life has been redeemed. Today, Beth is a living testimony of God’s grace.

She has had some serious temptations, but turned to God, and He has been faithful to her to provide that way of escape which is promised in God’s Word.

We are so grateful to God for answered prayer. Today, Beth is living a life for God and is celibate. Her pastor knows her story and she brings much joy to our lives.

Our granddaughter had her 25th birthday in August. She is considered healed but does suffer from Avascular Necrosis, as a result of the chemo, radiation and medications she was given while being treated for Leukemia. God is faithful.

During those almost 24 years, we had no one to talk too and didn’t want anyone to know about Beth and her lifestyle. We had no direction. We were ashamed and I felt guilty. What did I do to cause this? What could I have done differently? How can I “fix” this? Mothers, in particular I’ve learned, want to “fix” things. We had no support, no family nearby, but then again, who wants their family to know? We kept our secret to ourselves. It was very painful all those years.

We talk quite often with Beth regarding those almost 24 years. She said she always knew we loved her. She and Fred have a very good relationship. She has reminded me that I always ended our phone conversations with “I love you and so does Jesus.” At the time she resented it, but she knew it was true. A seed planted.

It was about six months after Beth left the lifestyle, that we learned of a support group in Columbus, Ohio and were invited to attend. We chose to visit Bridge of Hope and found the ministry also had a support group for spouses. There was none for parents and we wanted to learn, so we went to the spouses group. Fred was the only man in the group. We attended for a year. At the end of the year, we were asked to lead a Parent’s Support Group. We accepted and served in that position until June 2010, when we became co-Directors of Bridge of Hope.

In September 2006, we had the opportunity to develop another support group for relatives and friends at our church. We call it “Circle of Love.” Our logo is a crown of thorns with a single red drop to represent the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sins, and His never ending love, mercy, and grace which is extended to the parent/family/friend and to their loved one.

The crucifixion and sacrifice of Jesus Christ was for all sin, including the sin of sexual immorality. God is faithful to complete the work He has begun in our loved ones’ lives, and we have the hope for change and a new life in Christ for those we love and pray for.

Circle of Love began as a ministry to relatives and friends. Through the leading of the Holy Spirit, we opened our group to men and women who deal with unwanted same-sex attraction. We have been amazed at what God is doing in this ministry. In our meetings there is no condemnation, or judgment. The love of God is shown in the compassion, concern and healthy friendships that have developed. Again, God is faithful. He never fails. We are blessed to have our Bridge of Hope leaders join us in ministry in this group.

Our granddaughter has been in remission since 2001 and is now 25 years old. She attends the Nazarene University in Mount Vernon, Ohio. She is a Christian and brings us a lot of joy. Over and over, God has shown us His faithfulness in so many answered prayers.

May we be His hands in this world and a reflection of His everlasting love.

“May the God of hope fill us with joy and peace as we trust in Him, so that we may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NIV

Nora Seemann is the director of Bridge of Hope in Columbus OH.

I searched for love, acceptance, and my sexual identity in all the wrong places which led me into alcoholism, drugs, prostitution and many toxic promiscuous relationships with men; one right after the other.

I Found My Identity In Jesus

Elsie Odom

Elsie Odom

I was born the eldest of five children, four girls and one boy. I became the product of an extremely dysfunctional, co-dependent family of alcoholic parents who physically and emotionally abused me. Also, I was sexually molested many times over the period of my childhood by different relatives.

My mother was the dominating parent whom I grew to hate because of her verbal and physical abuse. I made many inward vows that I never wanted to be like her. My dad was the submissive one who was away at work during the week and drunk every weekend. Even though I now believe my parents did not mean to hurt me, I felt rejected and began to shut them out. I made up my mind early in life that I certainly did not want to grow up to be like my mother or my father and I feared men because of the molestation. I felt insecure, had a sense of shame and no value which led to isolation from my peers. Therefore, I did not have any friends. I see now how the things that happened to me affected my sense of who I was, both as a person and in terms of my gender identity and sexuality.

I longed for love and acceptance and began experiencing sexual desires toward my female friends as early as fourteen or fifteen years of age. Those perverted sexual desires manifested into experiences and by the age of eighteen, I had already been involved in two different homosexual relationships. After I was permitted to date at the age of sixteen, I dated many different guys, trying to find the right one who would change the direction of my affections. I was constantly tormented by the same-sex feelings. Somehow I knew the feelings I was having were wrong but did not know how to get free; therefore, I suffered much pain and shame while feeling like a freak.

I even dated my partner’s boyfriend trying to break them up. She found out and ended our relationship which was devastating. In order to survive my broken heart, I dated every guy I could. And in so doing, I met a guy on a blind date and he asked me to marry him. Marriage appeared to be the answer and a way out. I told my fiancé about my previous same-sex relationships and he promised he would be the one who made me forget about them. I believed this to be the answer to my troubled life. We married in 1961, and he became a good provider. When I discovered marriage was not the answer, I decided to visit a psychiatrist hoping he could help me find the answer. Of course, he could not. I then decided if I had a child this would bring fulfillment, so we soon had a beautiful daughter. After 8 years of marriage that was not filling the void in my heart, my husband and I divorced. I met a woman in the city and had same-sex feelings for her. I decided in order to go on with my life I needed to move into town. There, I could get lost in the crowds and pursue the attraction I was having and accept my sexual identity.

I searched for love, acceptance, and my sexual identity in all the wrong places which led me into alcoholism, drugs, prostitution and many toxic promiscuous relationships with men; one right after the other. My emotional pain became so great I decided to find another psychiatrist to find the answer to my desperation. Sure enough, what he told me was what I had heard before, “Whatever you do behind closed doors is your business”. His answer justified the horrible lifestyle I was living and gave me a temporary feeling that it was okay.

I found a job working at a straight bar as a barmaid where I met a woman and immediately started a friendship with her. This led to a love affair which seemed perfect and lasted for fourteen years. Even though I was living a life of lies and deception, I was the happiest I had ever been, or so I thought. We bought a home together and did everything together. We knew no other women or men who had same-sex attractions until my partner met a couple where she worked. We connected with them and began to have home parties and attend gay bars. The acceptance we received felt really good. Despite this, our lives continued downward into alcohol and drugs. We both became alcoholics.

I attended Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and checked myself into two different psychiatric units. I was not serious about being free so this accomplished nothing except a time for temporary detoxification. Then early one morning before daylight as I was sobering up from being drunk the night before, Jesus visited me in a vision. I was still in bed and I saw Him standing in my bedroom doorway beckoning me to come to Him. He was so real standing there dressed in His pure white glistening robe. It was so vivid. I saw the same Jesus I had seen in pictures when I was a child attending Sunday school. I will never forget saying, “Help me, Jesus.”

Two years later after being told by my partner I either had to quit drinking or move out, I decided to get serious and start attending AA meetings once again. Through this time of recovery God was working in my heart. One night as I was returning home from AA in 1985 I looked up into the clear beautiful sky where there were millions of stars, and a peace came over me I had never experienced before. This was my Damascus road experience. I know now that was the night God totally delivered me from alcohol because I have not had a drink or even a desire for a drink since then. This was the beginning of turning back to God. You see I had been reading AA’s 24-hour prayer/mediation book for about a year. I know it was the Word of God that had been planted in my heart that set me free. Because the bible says in John 8:32, “if you continue in my Word, you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.”

Once free from alcohol and its numbing effects, I was able to sense the wooing of the Holy Spirit. He led my partner and me to watch Christian television. One night, while watching an evangelist, I accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord. I found out later my partner also had gotten saved about the same time.

The Holy Spirit convicted us both of the lifestyle we were living. We began to search for a Christian counselor in the yellow pages of the telephone directory hoping once more to find the right answer to our hellish lifestyle. We found one, made an appointment, and were told once again, “What you do behind closed doors is your business.” The Holy Spirit within us did not agree with this counselor’s beliefs and He led us in search of another Christian counselor.

I developed a hunger for the Word of God and started going to church. I began to see in the Bible that homosexuality was a sin. I justified the lifestyle I was living by convincing myself that if God was a God of love then the love we had for each other had to be acceptable to God. My church attendance started to fall off because I was not being fed the Word of God which I desperately needed.

Then through an acquaintance my partner and I found a Spirit-filled church, Whole Life Ministries in Augusta, GA where the uncompromised Word of God is taught and where we both felt accepted and loved from the very first night that we walked into that church. By the power of the Holy Spirit and washing my mind with God’s Word, I entered the path to healing which was a long and difficult course to full restoration but extraordinarily fulfilling. Through the process of God’s precious grace, I was given the ability to give up cigarettes and be healed of low self-esteem, self hate, co-dependence and many emotional hurts that stemmed from a life of abuse.

I have been serving the Lord faithfully for almost twenty-two years now. God has given me such a desire for Him and His Word that I have served in almost every area of ministry within the church, including being an assistant to the Minister of Counseling and facilitating support groups. I earned a Doctorate of Ministry degree in 2003. God has opened doors for me to become an ordained Minister of the Gospel, a licensed Christian counselor, and a Chaplain.

God placed the desire within my heart over 15 years ago that I was to help other hurting women to become free through one-on-one Christian counseling and support group therapy. I began StraightForward Ministries in February 2008 specializing in ministering to those who have un-wanted same-sex attractions. Since I was not told the Truth when I was seeking Christian counseling, I know God placed it within my heart to be a counselor so that He may use me to impart the truth of the Word of God to those who are searching for it, as the Holy Spirit leads. Since He healed my hurting soul and set me free, by His grace He will do the same for all that truly want to be free and pay the price of obedience to His Word.

Elsie Odom is the director of StraightForward Ministry in Augusta Georgia.

Because of those years of my life I suffered from heavy porn addiction and became very confused about my sexual identity and believed I was bisexual during Middle and High School.

Steven Bjork

First, I was adopted at birth due to my biological father being a dangerous person. Since then I have met my biological Mom and brothers and sisters. I’ve been blest to know they are saved, and continue to have a great relationship with all of them.
At the age of eight, I came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ at a Royal Ranger camp.

When I was about the same age, my grandpa, who was the only grandparent I knew, passed away from old age. He had been one of the most important people in my life up until that time. To my young mind this was huge. I needed to find someone like him. I began to look for a man around his age that could be my Surrogate Grandpa.

I really wanted to have that kind of caring person as a part of my life. One night my mom and dad took me to a Blackwood Brother’s quartet concert. An older man attended with us. He seemed to have a lot of the same traits as my grandpa did. With that on my mind, I asked him to be a grandpa to me. He said yes, I was overjoyed at the time.

A few weeks later he began to sexually molest me. That lasted for 8 plus more years in my life. During those years, I kept it all a secret because of threats.

Because of those years of my life I suffered from heavy porn addiction and became very confused about my sexual identity and believed I was bisexual during Middle and High School.

It was through the healing power from God that I’m in a better place today spiritually and mentally. I learned of the power of forgiveness. Through forgiveness and counseling I received healing from bitterness, manipulation, and more.

For quite some time now I’ve felt a growing call to help others who have suffered through the pains that come from sexual abuse.
As the Executive Director for Beyond Imagination, I’m grateful to be walking people through forgiveness and healing as they are suffering from sexual addictions, unwanted homosexual desires, sexual hardships, or sexual abuse.

I have been blessed with an awesome wife, Sunny. In fact she was the first one to ever hear my story. She is my best friend. We were married July of 1997. God has also blessed us with three children. His healing and redemptive power are still being lived out in my life. I am not the man I used to be and I am not yet the man I want to be. I continue to grow and change. God has healed, redeemed, restored and transformed my life.

I love that this ministry comes from Ephesians 3:20, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

Steven Bjork is the Director of Beyond Imagination in Raliegh, North Carolina.

Beyond Surviving – Daniel Mingo’s Story

Daniel Mingo
Executive Director
Abba’s Delight

Daniel’s Story

I’ve been told my life mirrors the classic profile. I don’t know about that, but I do know that the power of God’s love and forgiveness has transformed my life in a way that I never thought was possible. I had hoped, but never thought it was possible.

I am the second-born son into what would become a family of seven children, six boys and one girl. I came along when my older brother was two. Ever since I can remember, going to church every Sunday was a part of my life. I grew up in a Christian denomination, which gave me a basic understanding of the faith.

Some of my early memories of family life are happy ones, but for the most part, I was miserable as a child. I always felt that my older brother was favored. He was the one who seemed to get most of my Dad’s attention. After all, they both liked sports, and were good at them. I never was, though I tried to be. I didn’t feel accepted, and I was made fun of for my lack of athletic abilities. If we were playing a game that required teams, I was picked last. It just wasn’t any fun being a boy; it was too hard.

I never had a strong emotional connection to my Dad when I was young. His job often took him out of town from Monday to Friday, and his weekends were filled with shopping with my Mom, errands, and sports on TV. That was a plus for my brother, but not for me. Mom didn’t drive, so she was around almost all the time. Most of my parental input came from her. She has been a woman of Godly character all of my life. I know now my parents loved me and did everything they knew to do to raise me properly. But it wasn’t always that way. I used to think the only reason they clothed and fed me was because they’d get arrested if they didn’t. I think that I was just such a challenge for them; they weren’t sure what do to with a son who wasn’t good at and didn’t like to do “boy things.”

The pain of feeling like I never fit in my family or measured up to earn Dad’s love and acceptance drove me to find those things wherever I could. At first, I began playing with girls in the neighborhood. They were my age and I seemed to fit in with them. I found, though, that the boys in the neighborhood were just as cruel then as they had been before. Even the parents got in on it. There was one set of parents who decided that it just wasn’t normal for me to be playing with girls, so they decided that instead of calling me by my given name Danny, they would call me Mary Jane. It is unimaginable to me now that a parent would inflict this kind of cruelty on a child, just for the sake of ridiculing him.

Sometime before the age of ten, I discovered playing “doctor” with the girls in the neighborhood. These were my first sexual experiences. No one knew, and it seemed I had found in a special and secret way the acceptance I was craving. We moved from that area of town when I was eleven into a newly-developing subdivision. Making new friends seemed easier there, but I was still insecure and often had feelings that I didn’t fit in.

To compensate for my lack of sports abilities, I had gotten involved in singing, acting and dance as a child. I was good at these things, and I enjoyed them. I took great satisfaction in an audience applauding me. Onstage, I could feel some sense of worth, acceptance and appreciation. One night when I was 13, on the way home from one of my lessons, I had one of those life-changing experiences. The bus I took only came out so far toward my house, so I would walk the rest of the way. One night I decided to hitchhike. A man I didn’t know picked me up and sexually molested me. He introduced me to masturbation. I was so scared; I froze for what must have been several minutes. When I finally came to myself and could speak, I asked him to stop and let me out of the car. He stopped the car, and as I was getting out, he said, “Now you be careful; you never know who’s going to pick you up.” I slammed his car door and ran the rest of the way home.

I didn’t tell my Mom what happened that night when I got home, out of breath. She asked if I was OK, saying that I looked white as a sheet. I told her I was fine, but I wasn’t. Not telling my parents what happened that night and keeping it a secret, was probably the biggest mistake of my life. I didn’t tell because I was too afraid of getting into trouble for hitchhiking. How was I to know that the devil would use the secrecy of that horrible experience to torment my mind and my life for many years to follow?

As one might expect, following that experience and keeping it a secret, my high school years were a mixed bag of emotional ups and downs. Still attracted to girls, I dated whenever I could and had several girl friends. But I found myself sexually attracted to boys and men, and sometimes acted out sexually with guys my age. I knew in my heart that was wrong, but I didn’t know what to do with those feelings and I certainly couldn’t tell anyone about them. About two-thirds of the way through my senior year, after I was dumped by my girl friend for my best friend, I went to hear a couple of kids I knew from school give a talk. They shared about how asking Jesus to live inside their hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit was changing their lives. They said their new relationship with Jesus as their personal Savior gave them a purpose for living. I jumped at the chance to have a better life, because I sure wasn’t enjoying the one I had up to that point. So on Friday night, February 27, 1970, I asked Jesus to come into my heart, save me, be the Lord of my life, and change me so that I would become who I was created to be.

My life changed immediately for the better. There was like a honeymoon time, when everything seemed to go perfectly in every area of my life. I thought sexual thoughts were gone for good, but they soon came back. In fact, it seemed like it was worse than before. How could that be? Jesus was living inside me; how could I be thinking all of these awful things, and how could I be getting tempted to do sexual things that were abhorrent to me?

As a young adult, I was leading a double life. I had my circle of Christian friends and those I went to church with, but also I was progressively getting involved in more varied sexual activities with myself and with guys I didn’t even know. I tried to get help, but no one, not even my pastors, seemed to know what to do with someone like me. As much as I knew how, I was totally committed to the Lord, but also driven by temptation to sin sexually, I was dating Christian women, but I was also having anonymous sex with men. I was engaged twice, but I ended both of those relationships before marriage. One of the breakups was directly related to my sexual acting out.

By the time I was 30 and still single, I had convinced my pastors that my sexual problems were behind me. I met the woman who is now my wife and got married when I was 31. Again, I thought my sexual problems would be solved by being married. Afraid of being rejected, I had chosen not to tell my wife about them. For a long time I was able to refrain from acting out sexually, but eventually I gave in, and the whole sin cycle surfaced again. By this time I was working at a job that required traveling. Being away from home like this was always difficult for me, and often I gave in to the temptation. After 10 years of marriage, with my secret still intact, I was crying out to the Lord on the way home from a business trip. I had acted out again, in a particularly bad way, even for me. The Lord spoke to my heart and said that it was time to confess to my wife about my sin. That created a lot of fear in me.

I knew that I had given my wife enough Biblical and civil grounds to divorce me and kick me out of my home that she and I had made for our three sons. But I knew I had heard the word of the Lord. I went to my pastor and confessed to him that I had not been as pure as I had led him to think and that I believed the Lord was directing me that it was time to tell my wife. He and I began to pray that God would prepare her heart and that I would know the right time to come clean. When the time came, I found the Lord had indeed prepared her for my confession. Since that time, though there were some initial obstacles to overcome, she has been so much more loving and supportive than I could have ever hoped for.

At this same time, we began to realize that I was addicted to sex, the same as someone would become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling or food. By then, my addiction had taken me into homosexual sin, heterosexual sin, masturbation, voyeurism, magazine pornography, obscene phone calls, inappropriate conversations, strip clubs, x-rated movie theatres, and inappropriate touching. I began looking for some type of support group. I knew that there had to be other men who were committed to the Lord, but caught in the trap of homosexual sin as I was. I attended a secular 12 step recovery group for sex addicts for a year, unable to find something Biblically based. After that first year, I found exactly what I was looking for. I attended weekly meetings with other men who were just as I was, and committed to the Lord’s standard of sexual purity. This group had begun at a church in my city while I was attending the secular group. When I found out about the Biblically based group, right away I began attending it, and did so faithfully for another five years, leading it the last year it was in existence. Being in a support group with other Christian men who could hold me accountable for my sexual behavior, I found it was the perfect fit for my recovery from this addiction, which had ensnared me for so many years. That group ended in the spring of 2000. Then, a few months later, I was asked to join another group hosted by the same church. This group is for men who are trapped in general sexual addiction, not just homosexual sin. I have attended this group since its inception for my own ongoing recovery and sobriety, and for the first 7 ½ years functioned as one of its official facilitators.

The Lord led me into ministry in 2003. Father was prompting me to become a part of a ministry team to bring hope-for-change to men who battle sexual addiction through unwanted same-sex attractions. I held a staff position with a Lexington-based ministry for 4 ½ years and then in December 2007 at the Lord’s leading, I resigned that position. After seeking Father’s direction with my wife and Pastor a few months for my next assignment, He led me to begin a new ministry called Abba’s Delight, Inc based in Louisville. Founded in April 2008, it also focuses on those troubled by unwanted same-sex attractions, as well as bringing the message of Father’s love combined with learning to lead a structured and disciplined lifestyle towards righteousness and maturity in becoming a productive and fruitful citizen of the Kingdom of God. This ministry continues to thrive today at Father’s blessing as an Exodus International Member Ministry.

I never thought I could live without being miserable. I never thought I could find love and acceptance the way God intended. I never thought I would ever get past the shame and anger of being molested. I never thought I could ever know what “normal” is. I never thought I would ever find sexual purity.

God was calling me to be His own, His son. God was calling me to grow up to be a man, even though I had such a messed up sexual identity as a child. God was calling me to be a husband. God was calling me to be a father of three sons, whom I could teach to become men of God. God was calling me not just to be a survivor, but an over-comer. And He is calling me to impart to other men what I am learning on His journey.

Now unto Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24,25

Daniel is the Executive Director of Abba’s Delight, in Louisville Kentucky.

Looking for Love and Acceptance – McKrae’s Story

McKrae Blue2McKrae’s Story

All my life I had felt rejected and looked over. I found love and acceptance by being lured and chased, but there was a price. I grew up in what seemed from the outside to be a normal, middle-class, Christian family. I was the younger of two children, always in the shadow of my older sister. My father, always working, never seemed to be home. My parents, being completely opposite in how to raise me, were in constant turmoil when my father was at home. They provided me with a ridiculous amount of toys to play with, but never their time or attention. Since I feared confrontation, I usually stayed away from the house as much as possible.

I never quite fit in with others and didn’t really have any friends. My parents switched me to a private school, and right away, the boys made it clear that I was not wanted. Because of I wasn’t sure of myself, I was called names like queer, sissy, and I was given the nickname McGay. My family went to church every Sunday as good Baptists do; however, my parents never discussed religion or church. I became one of the most involved kids at church and was there every time the doors were open.

From an early age, I looked at other boys with envy. I had such a low self esteem and it seemed I could never do anything right. I had wondered if I was gay, since so many people were saying I was. I remember my father talking to me about sex for the first time: I was fourteen and distanced from puberty. His words were, “If you’re going to have sex, you should use protection, and if you are going to masturbate, be careful because it is very addictive.” It was a little late for that.

When I was fifteen, my parents got divorced. Going back and forth between the two extremes of both parents, I decided to move out when I was eighteen. A couple of years later, I found that a neighbor of mine was gay. He soon showed me all that the gay life had to offer. After spending my first night with him, the next day and the following week, I was a wreck. I had never been so confused and my body was telling me that this was what I had always wanted, and my mind and soul was telling me that this was wrong.

My neighbor quickly introduced me to all the pornography I could handle, and even took me to the local gay bar. I had never experienced such feelings. When I walked in the room, all eyes were on me. I was instantly addicted; all the attention and acceptance I had ever wanted was there for the taking. The euphoria did not last long. I soon went from one relationship to another, trying to fill a huge void in my life that was very real. I simply wanted to be loved and accepted, but all I was getting was being used.

My friends who were in the lifestyle would mention it as the unforgivable sin; I had sure hoped not. Often times, I would ponder on the hope that I would be able to ask for forgiveness before I died. I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to grow old with another man, or even worse, alone, giving up all hopes of a family. A friend of mine, Roy, and his wife Deneen and I were in a business together. She was pregnant at the time and it caused me to think of family. One evening, Deneen, not knowing I was gay, asked me if I would ever want to get married and have children. I didn’t know how to answer.

Soon after this question, we three of us went away on a weekend business trip. That Sunday we attended a church service. People told of trials that they had been through, and how God had always been there to bring them through. I remember as we sang praise songs, seeing hope and peace in people’s eyes. This was the hope and peace that I was searching for so desperately. At the conclusion of service, I was the first person to accept the invitation and on February 24, 1991, I became a born again Christian. I realized the void I had been trying to fill could only be filled by Christ.

When I got back, I wrote and told all of my friends in the lifestyle of my new relationship with Christ, and that I could never go back to that way of life. I proceeded to throw away all of my pornography and anything that I had received from my past relationships with other men. I didn’t know how I would follow Christ out of homosexuality, I just knew that I would; no matter what the cost. I began praying for the wife that I believed God had planned for me. I knew He would complete this work that He had begun in my life.

I heard of a local Exodus ministry and got involved. I was reading my bible, going to church, and reading every book on homosexuality that I could get my hands on. I knew that I was not born this way. In Genesis chapter one the bible tells us that God created male and female, and that He created us in His own image. So, if I wasn’t born this way, then I had learned it; and I could learn my way out of it. As long as I depended on Christ, I knew there was a way out.

I began learning to develop healthy relationships with other men, realizing that this is what I had needed all along. Through developing a relationship with Christ, and with a few godly men, I was able to fill many of my needs. I found what I was looking for embodied in the man named Jesus. Five years after leaving the lifestyle, I met a woman named Julie at the church I was attending. She was beautiful, and I couldn’t understand why she was interested in me, but luckily for me she was. We dated and were engaged for about a year, and married each other on January 27, 1996. Since then God has blessed us with a little boy named Seth McKrae and a precious little girl named Caroline Ansleigh.

In February of 1999, I formed Hope for Wholeness. I had felt God’s call on my life early on in my relationship with Christ. However, it was not until now that God had revealed His will and His timing in this area of my life. I would have never dreamed that the Lord would have brought me so far, and to the point where I am today. I remember back when I was living alone, struggling with thoughts of homosexuality, and what that meant for the rest of my life. I desired so much to have someone to talk to who could steer me in the right direction. It is for this reason that God has brought me to where I am today; that I may lead the way for others to follow, pointing to Christ, all the way.

“Daddy, I’m gay”. I was devastated by those words. What had I done wrong for my son to choose this path for his life?

Daddy I’m Gay By Bill Creech

Bill & Phyllis Creech | Family Ministry LeadersBill’s Story

I was raised in a Southern Baptist home by a father and mother who are even today examples of what parents should be. They are both solid Christians who instilled Christian values in my siblings and me and there was never the fear that anyone in our family would ever become “gay”. Of course that is how most of us feel about our lives, that the really bad things happen to other people. At least I don’t remember hearing talk on that subject until I was in high school. When I was a young boy a conversation about homosexuals wasn’t considered suitable in the presence of children or even in mixed company.

The worst words I think I have ever heard in my life were “Daddy, I’m gay”. Those words can send chills down the spine of the strongest man when he hears them from his son. I was devastated by those words. They rang in my ears month after month. What had I done wrong for my son to choose this path for his life? Being a logical person, I decided that he would respond to logic and tried to approach it in that way during the few conversations that we had in those early years of his new lifestyle.

I didn’t know what to do or how to respond to him and at the same time keep our conversations calm. It was a very difficult time for both of us. One thing I knew was that I loved him so much and I wanted him to know that, so I began telling him “I love you” every chance I got. What could I do to reach my son who had taken a path that was both unknown to me and contrary to my beliefs? I realized that I was basically ignorant about the subject, but I wanted to know as much as I could so I could “rescue” my dear son from being gay.

I began reading about the gay lifestyle from a book my pastor encouraged me to read Desires in Conflict. I had been questioning my responsibility in all of this and what I had done or might have done to help precipitate my son’s feelings and actions. I can look back over the years and remember when he was the only boy in the neighborhood so he had to play with the girls. I didn’t always take the time to play with him that I probably should have because I was busy. We did play games together occasionally and I even helped him some with playing on a baseball team. But then his mother and I divorced, and we didn’t get to see each other as much; mostly every other weekend. I hated that situation because I missed my kids so much. Divorce causes more pain than can be imagined most of all hurting the children whom are innocent. Perhaps that is why God says in Malachi 2:16 “I hate divorce”.

I guess most of us think that with knowledge there is power, but that is only true if the knowledge is Truth. The only truth I trust is God’s truth. I had relied on Jesus for so many things in my life and I trusted Him, but what did He want me to do now? Should I preach to my son about the sin of living this kind of life? Should I just accept the gay lifestyle as okay simply because ”these are modern times”? Should I just write off my son and let him go his own way because it seemed there was nothing I could do? I had so many questions, but I already knew the answer. God’s answer to me was from Matthew 22:37  “Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” The answer was that my Biblical responsibility to my son was to love him, and love him as Christ loves me: unconditionally.

I can say that I do love my son unconditionally and I know that he loves me. Such a simple concept, but what power that action holds. My son and I have a very good relationship and we continue to work on it every time we see each other, talk on the phone, or share E-mails. I can feel his love, and his desire to get closer to me. We have discussed how each of us stand on the subject of the gay lifestyle. I believe that it is against the will of God and is presented as such in the Bible. (Romans 1:21, 26-27)

I know that God loves my son even more that I do, but He won’t make him change. He loves him but He gave to him, and to all of us, a free will to decide what he will do and what he will be. My responsibilities are to love him, pray for him, and respect him whether I agree with his beliefs or not. I am not responsible for his decision to remain gay. His responsibilities are to love me and to respect me and my beliefs whether he agrees with them or not. For now, it is enough to love him and to trust God.

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